An open letter to Justin Timberlake.


p style=”text-align: left;”>Justin Timberlake you cocksucker,
Someone oughta open your pretty face with a boxcutter.
Caucasoid boy wonder.
Smug prince of pop culture.
How many dollars did you plunder copying moves from Usher?
You discovered Michael’s routines like a modern Columbus.
You’ve got a squadron of publicists.
They keep you in the gym doing lots of squats and crunches,
to distract us from the fact that your adams apple is HUMONGOUS.
Pencil neck.
Your adams apple looks like an elbow.
My testicles crawl into my body when you sing in a falsetto.
Your awkward bobble head,
all stiff and off tempo…
I digress though.

You met britney at like seven years old.
Back when you were kickin reggae flows
on the after school minstrel show.
Where parents go to pimp their kids for dough
You were the best poodle in show
with your two tone bowl cut jerry curl
and cheek bones.
You were jealous of Britney
Because she learned the steps quickly!
While you were trippin on your big feet
developing acne…
She was the magnificent innocent
natural pageant queen All-American aryan Cleopatra at 17
Young queen on the throne
Catholic school girl in heat, cover of Rolling Stone
certified diamond first week platinum
while you were singing backups with JC and Joey Fatone!
Blowing coke with Lance Bass in a backstage bathroom!
So when her comet came around the second time
you latched on…
And kept her on your arm for as long as she was in fashion…

You attained
the unattainableness
that had been her main attraction.
Cameras snap and lift your stature
but her image had been captured.
Cropped copied and plastered photos reproduce themselves…
Recorded & mastered vocals effected to boost her skills…
Removing her voice from her… choreographed and sculpted…
Speech and daily routine orchestrated and studied…
is trying to be her husband!
The girl is TWENTY ONE, Jus!
Ease up off her nuts!

Go your seperate ways, stay cool and remain friends
don’t try to own her.
Just be glad for what you had
and be happy to know her!
Consider yourself
STUNNINGLY LUCKY in light of the fact that you look like a rattlesnake
trying to swallow a boulder!

Instead you write a hundred hate anthems in the sky,
and throw a teenage angst tantrum at the age of 25.
Justin Timberlake you cocksucker
i hope you die.
You ratted on Janet Jackson!
You told a radio station that Britney’s package was unwrapped?!!
I hope your plane crashes.
I hope you live in chronic pain.
I hope a groupie splashes acid in your face
and you contract aids.
I hope usher kills you in a fit of black rage.

I hope you sit in a hospital bed
with your head completely shaved
sober for the first time in days
an alien in your skin, held down by restraints
while on the tv, the song about you plays
and arenas full of people sing you to your grave
as they sway to the beat and the lazer light display
Justin Timberlake, i hope you feel yourself fade.

“I’m a …. sllaavvee for you”


Holler at your boy Jus.  I’m coming for you.  I will be here forever.  Forever and ever.  It’s on.  It’s on forever and ever.



Wait for it… the gold is around 1:20.


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jaredpaul says


JT says

Bring it B.

You're just still pissed about "the incident".

Anyway, next time it will be more then your wardrobe that will malfunction. Trust me. I'm gonna rip off more then your top.


Holly says

Why do you care so much about Justin Timberlake? And are you so ignorant to believe that Michael Jackson and Usher didn't work with choreographers? They're POPSTARS! You sound bitter about his success. But, then again, maybe you're just in love with Britney, the "magnificent innocent...All American aryan Cleopatra."

sage says

People who can't see the power of this blog need to calm down. Don't be so mad when we delete your self-promotional comments. Also, you suck. Back to important matters such as JT being an opportunistic punk!

ft says

eek, i can't believe my time was wasted reading that garbage. did anyone else notice that sfr and all of its artists are completely irrelevant? i would rather listen to jt any day of the week than sage francis or alias. cocksuckers.

Bobby[f**king]White says

I dont get it...why is Justin Timba-Lake holding a puppet. Is this symbolism? [no...seriously why is he holding a puppet??]

BTW Alpha Dogs was a fucked up movie why did they have to waste that kid...he didnt do anything wrong!! If karma was real JT is going to get roughed up once his body guards look away. Bruce Willis should have curbed him!

Reggie says

I think he sucks too, but why all the animosity? Where is this coming from? Me no get mad man words

Sam says

HAHA! I wish you would have performed this whole thing at 1st ave. I was laughing pretty hard.

Михаил Кузьмин says

Автор, посты у вас, конечно, интересные. Но вы не думали сменить дизайн?

кaппИ says

В нашем офисе так нудно было, хорошо что нашел ваш сайт. Читаю с интересом:)