An open letter to Justin Timberlake.

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p style=”text-align: left;”>Justin Timberlake you cocksucker,
Someone oughta open your pretty face with a boxcutter.
Caucasoid boy wonder.
Smug prince of pop culture.
How many dollars did you plunder copying moves from Usher?
You discovered Michael’s routines like a modern Columbus.
You’ve got a squadron of publicists.
They keep you in the gym doing lots of squats and crunches,
to distract us from the fact that your adams apple is HUMONGOUS.
Pencil neck.
Peckerwood.
Your adams apple looks like an elbow.
My testicles crawl into my body when you sing in a falsetto.
Your awkward bobble head,
all stiff and off tempo…
I digress though.

You met britney at like seven years old.
Back when you were kickin reggae flows
on the after school minstrel show.
Where parents go to pimp their kids for dough
You were the best poodle in show
with your two tone bowl cut jerry curl
and cheek bones.
You were jealous of Britney
Because she learned the steps quickly!
While you were trippin on your big feet
developing acne…
She was the magnificent innocent
natural pageant queen All-American aryan Cleopatra at 17
Young queen on the throne
Catholic school girl in heat, cover of Rolling Stone
certified diamond first week platinum
while you were singing backups with JC and Joey Fatone!
Blowing coke with Lance Bass in a backstage bathroom!
So when her comet came around the second time
you latched on…
And kept her on your arm for as long as she was in fashion…

You attained
the unattainableness
that had been her main attraction.
Cameras snap and lift your stature
but her image had been captured.
Cropped copied and plastered photos reproduce themselves…
Recorded & mastered vocals effected to boost her skills…
Removing her voice from her… choreographed and sculpted…
Speech and daily routine orchestrated and studied…
Meanwhile, FUCKING JUSTIN
is trying to be her husband!
The girl is TWENTY ONE, Jus!
Ease up off her nuts!

Go your seperate ways, stay cool and remain friends
don’t try to own her.
Just be glad for what you had
and be happy to know her!
Consider yourself
STUNNINGLY LUCKY in light of the fact that you look like a rattlesnake
trying to swallow a boulder!

Instead you write a hundred hate anthems in the sky,
and throw a teenage angst tantrum at the age of 25.
Justin Timberlake you cocksucker
i hope you die.
You ratted on Janet Jackson!
You told a radio station that Britney’s package was unwrapped?!!
I hope your plane crashes.
I hope you live in chronic pain.
I hope a groupie splashes acid in your face
and you contract aids.
I hope usher kills you in a fit of black rage.

I hope you sit in a hospital bed
with your head completely shaved
sober for the first time in days
an alien in your skin, held down by restraints
while on the tv, the song about you plays
and arenas full of people sing you to your grave
as they sway to the beat and the lazer light display
Justin Timberlake, i hope you feel yourself fade.

“I’m a …. sllaavvee for you”

——

Holler at your boy Jus.  I’m coming for you.  I will be here forever.  Forever and ever.  It’s on.  It’s on forever and ever.

-b

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyEbzoCf39Y&feature=related[/youtube]

Wait for it… the gold is around 1:20.