Strange Famous Records

An open letter to Justin Timberlake.

Justin Timberlake you cocksucker,
Someone oughta open your pretty face with a boxcutter.
Caucasoid boy wonder.
Smug prince of pop culture.
How many dollars did you plunder copying moves from Usher?
You discovered Michael’s routines like a modern Columbus.
You’ve got a squadron of publicists.
They keep you in the gym doing lots of squats and crunches,
to distract us from the fact that your adams apple is HUMONGOUS.
Pencil neck.
Peckerwood.
Your adams apple looks like an elbow.
My testicles crawl into my body when you sing in a falsetto.
Your awkward bobble head,
all stiff and off tempo…
I digress though.

You met britney at like seven years old.
Back when you were kickin reggae flows
on the after school minstrel show.
Where parents go to pimp their kids for dough
You were the best poodle in show
with your two tone bowl cut jerry curl
and cheek bones.
You were jealous of Britney
Because she learned the steps quickly!
While you were trippin on your big feet
developing acne…
She was the magnificent innocent
natural pageant queen All-American aryan Cleopatra at 17
Young queen on the throne
Catholic school girl in heat, cover of Rolling Stone
certified diamond first week platinum
while you were singing backups with JC and Joey Fatone!
Blowing coke with Lance Bass in a backstage bathroom!
So when her comet came around the second time
you latched on…
And kept her on your arm for as long as she was in fashion…

You attained
the unattainableness
that had been her main attraction.
Cameras snap and lift your stature
but her image had been captured.
Cropped copied and plastered photos reproduce themselves…
Recorded & mastered vocals effected to boost her skills…
Removing her voice from her… choreographed and sculpted…
Speech and daily routine orchestrated and studied…
Meanwhile, FUCKING JUSTIN
is trying to be her husband!
The girl is TWENTY ONE, Jus!
Ease up off her nuts!

Go your seperate ways, stay cool and remain friends
don’t try to own her.
Just be glad for what you had
and be happy to know her!
Consider yourself
STUNNINGLY LUCKY in light of the fact that you look like a rattlesnake
trying to swallow a boulder!

Instead you write a hundred hate anthems in the sky,
and throw a teenage angst tantrum at the age of 25.
Justin Timberlake you cocksucker
i hope you die.
You ratted on Janet Jackson!
You told a radio station that Britney’s package was unwrapped?!!
I hope your plane crashes.
I hope you live in chronic pain.
I hope a groupie splashes acid in your face
and you contract aids.
I hope usher kills you in a fit of black rage.

I hope you sit in a hospital bed
with your head completely shaved
sober for the first time in days
an alien in your skin, held down by restraints
while on the tv, the song about you plays
and arenas full of people sing you to your grave
as they sway to the beat and the lazer light display
Justin Timberlake, i hope you feel yourself fade.

“I’m a …. sllaavvee for you”

——

Holler at your boy Jus.  I’m coming for you.  I will be here forever.  Forever and ever.  It’s on.  It’s on forever and ever.

-b

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyEbzoCf39Y&feature=related[/youtube]

Wait for it… the gold is around 1:20.

Feb 17

Inkymole art auction at the SFR basement show

Renowned visual artist and long-standing SFR collaborator Sarah “Inkymole” Coleman has just donated some very special prints toward our fund raising effort!

We’ve got 2 pieces from her “Dollface” series and 3 “If These Walls Could Talk” wallpaper prints.  One from each set will be raffled off at the show.  Also, one of each – specially signed by all Strange Famous Crew on site – will be made available via live auction hosted by myself, and SFR Forum hero, Messiah Carrey!!

*Inkymole’s limited edition “Dollface” screenprints are hand-finished and signed and numbered by the artist. Measuring 12″x12″, they are on high-quality deckle-edged paper, made in the UK – each one is unique.

*The “If These Walls Could Talk” wallpaper prints were produced as part of Inkymole’s If A Girl Writes Off The World exhibition, which opened in 2006, touring to NYC and Providence in 2007. They formed the enormous backdrop to Sage’s one-off performance at the opening night in London one rainy night in October 2006. These high-quality inkjet prints are signed and dated by the artist.

All 5 pieces will be signed by the SFR crew in attendance at the show, and the 3rd and final remaining “If These Walls Could Talk” print will be posted for on-line bidding after the show!

Raffle tickets will be sold at the door and at the merch booth for $3 a piece:  $3 gets you one name in the hat and a chance to win one of these rare, limited edition prints- bidding for special SFR crew signed pieces will start at $20.

All proceeds will go to the “Jared Paul is Free but the Lawyers Cost Money” fund.

We’ll See You There!
——————————————————————————–
Feb 27th at the Grant in Pawtucket, RI
Sage Francis, B. Dolan, Prolyphic, Prayers for Atheists, and Shane Hall.
All Ages/$10 entry/free parking/more on our tour page.

www.strangefamous.com

Feb 17

Hip Hop the Musical!!!

I’ve always been a big fan of two things; the Highschool the Musical movies and hardcore rap music. So I kind of got this idea today, though it was sort of suggested by someone else, to combine my two greatest loves into a musical comedy about rappers and all the whacky trouble they get into. This is a great idea. I’m telling you, The Game is gonna be doing musical comedy next year. Who would have thought Ice Cube would have ever gotten into making heartwarming Disney movies when he first came out. Gotta strike while the iron is hot baby! Get on it before its too late.

Feb 16

Thanks again

Just got off the road and wanted to address the big news. So all the rumors where true about a SFR Sleep release! Ha Ha sorry if I changed the subject when asked about it. I was trying my best to keep a lid on it. It was kind of hard when it made it’s way on a flier. I’m very excited about working with SFR on my newest release. I put a lot into this record and am proud of it! I will be touring a lot over the next year and will post all upcoming shows on my calender. I will also start blogging (which is something I’ve haven’t been to good at in the past) to keep you posted on any news I have in my life! Thanks again for all your support!!! Big things ahead!!

Feb 15

Baptazia…

The SFR forum has uncovered a great wealth of religious excitement. I’ve been to churches like this…have you?

If puritans had their way, dancing would still be banned. But the puritans lost…and now we all win. Thank the Lawd.

www.strangefamous.com

Feb 15

Comic book collecting, the weird world of…

Comic Book Guy

A good while back, a very very good while back – sometime around 1990, maybe ’91 – I was a comic-book collector. A collector, a hoarder, an enthusiast, all of the above. Ardent, and dedicated. I was 10-ish. I spent a whole bunch of money, time, and effort on all kinds of comic-books, first appearances, merchandise, collector cards, the whole deal. But somehow I never became the expert I should have been. I should have been Comic Book Guy , I could have been him. But at that point for me – and this is the first time I’ve admitted this to anyone – it all became more about the collection, the accumulation, and the digging. This is where the hoarder characteristics shine through everything else. I had a keen interest in the drawings and the characters but for some reason I never even bloody read the things. Seriously – even the characters that I was interested in like Lobo and Spawn – I didn’t read one of the comics, seriously. What’s that about? Who knows. All I know is I have a big box of mostly unread comics and a lot of sealed up special editions and unopened box sets. Come with me while I try and find out what the fuck I was doing with my time and money, won’t you…?

Read the rest of this entry »

Feb 13

How Punky Brewster Traumatized a Nation

No, Alan! NOOOOOOOooooooo...

No, Alan! NOOOOOOOooooooo…

Most people will be too young to remember this Punky Brewster episode, the Punky Brewster phenomenon, or Punky Brewster at all. It’s possible the videos I have linked below won’t seem as psychologically crippling as they were when they were first broadcast to an unsuspecting audience of children who were inundated by positive Punky Power week after week. All I know is that the nightmares continue.

In the mid 80′s, a Punky Brewester Halloween special entitled “Perils of Punky” aired during its second season. It was a two parter. The end of Part One had us shitting our Underoos due to a scary monster with a freakish scream popping up out of nowhere. That was more of a startle than anything else. However, when Part Two aired a week later, we were treated to more of a psychological scare as Punky’s friend Alan was presumably killed and turned into a head-mount zombie of sorts. Rotten teeth…face poking out of a rock…looking like the face was pealed off of Alan’s skull and reanimated somehow. It was a taunting, grotesque and horrifying thing really. Nothing about it made sense. There was a David Lynch quality about it which turned our safe, morally-supreme Punky Brewster universe on its head. Soon enough, all of Punky’s friends, as well her dog, were presumably killed or deformed by a mysterious evil spirit. By the end of the second episode, Punky does eventually vanquish the evil spit (you know…with LOVE,) but by that point the damage had already been done. I remember my 4th grade teacher, Ms. Maloney, standing in front of our class and denouncing Punky Brewster the very next day. Normally she would use that time to applaud Punky for saying no to drugs or something like that.

Thinking back on all of this in my adult years, I was left wondering if I had imagined or dreamed this whole thing up. It seemed too bizarre to be real. Thanks to the magic of the internets, I was able to seek out this Halloween episode on youtube. Alas, my fears and confusion have been confirmed. This first clip mainly just sets up the story. The only scary parts happen right at the end:

The scariest part of this next clip is at 4:10 (which is what stuck with me all these years):

It’s interesting how many people have left comments on these youtube videos, admitting to having had nightmares because of Punky’s perils. They too have wondered whether this whole thing was a figment of their imagination or not. We are bonding over our shared trauma. To those who still live in silent horror, I just want you to know that you’re not alone. I understand how difficult it’s been having no one to turn to…no rational explanations to be comforted by. If you believe that group meetings might help you deal with your PBTSD, I will look into organizing something.

Now that I look at a picture of Alan juxtaposed with a picture of me when I was a kid, I think I understand part of why this disturbed me so much.

Scary Alan

Scary Alan

Here's me before the trauma

Innocent Lil Sage

Love conquers all,
SAGE “also freaked out by Large Marge” FRANCIS

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Feb 12

Interview with DEAD Magazine…

Hello. This is Buddy. I hope all is well. Alright, I’m going to have to come clean – this is the first proper blog I’ve put together. It’s something I probably should have gotten down with more actively a while back, and I’ve only ever messed with Myspace blogs really. So it’s fair to say my blogsmarts are hella weak.

 

Well, I’m going to try and sort that out – I won’t be relentless and post up my every waking (and sleeping) thought, and I’m still unsure of what a Twitter is, so I’ll get my self limitations on right now. Saying that, I reserve the right to change this at any point. Deal!

 

I thought I’d set it off with this interview that I had with DEAD Magazine over in Germany, around the end of December or so. They’ve had features with Prolyphic & Reanimator, Subtle and B. Dolan in the past, and if you check the site you’ll see how to get it all and whatnot. The interview here is the raw uncut, and I blew the word count the hell up – I know interviews aren’t everyone’s favourite things to do but I’m into them, and it’s cool to have the chance to talk in depth and the person here had put in some time with research and all that. But as you will plainly see here, I go on, and on and on and on… Let it flow, and ya don’t stop…

  

Word to Lana Michele Moorer.

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Feb 11

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Sleep of Oldominion's new album "Oregon Failure" (produced by Maulskull) is OUT NOW! SIGNED CD and MP3 Download available here.

SFRstore EXCLUSIVE! Prolyphic & Buddy Peace Limited Edition, Tri-Colored, Hand-Screenprinted 7-inch Vinyl! Features Sage Francis & Metermaids. See all available options here.

B. Dolan will be joining Sage Francis on the Copper Gone Tour this May! Check out the latest installment of his "House of Bees" mixtape series here.

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