Paulie and Ray
Raymond came into my life when I was 3 years old. He adopted me and raised me as his own, giving me all the love and support I needed to grow into the person I am today. He got me involved in baseball, hockey, soccer and football at an early age. He even coached my little league team for a couple years. He was a big man with a big laugh, a big smile and a big personality. I was the ring bearer when he married my mom. They went through a divorce ten years ago but he married a wonderful woman named Gail and adopted a whole new family which gave him two new daughters to look after. He also fostered a mentally disabled man and took care of everyone he could. He took in stray pets on the regular and I still have cats as a result of that. He has three big dogs I wouldn’t mind looking after once I get back from my travels but we’ll see how that goes.
Ray’s parents died when he was a young age which is probably why he was hyper sensitive to the needs of others, and cripes his heart was big. Raymond was ALL heart. If nothing else, he taught me how to empathize, which I’ve found to be much more important than anything I learned in school.
He worked a variety of jobs but was haunted by debt as long as I’ve known him. That didn’t stop him from giving as much of himself as possible to everyone around him. He loved sports, he loved to party and he loved to eat. Like a lot of father/son relationships, ours was based on conversations about sports and cars; Both of which I know little about but I always knew what buttons to press to get him talking. “How about them Pats? How are the Celts doing? You think the Red Sox are going to pull through this time?” And off he would go.
I hadn’t spoken with him before I left for tour. I figured I’d be able to reconnect with him once I returned. That opportunity has obviously been lost and although I can’t let myself be weighed down by guilt I do wish I could hear his voice one more time. Give him one last sweaty hug. He was very proud of me and he always made it a point to tell people what his son Paulie was doing. It makes me really happy knowing that. Although he wasn’t my biological father a lot of people in our life don’t know that. In fact, we share a great resemblance. Every time someone said I looked just like my dad he’d get loud and say, “YEAH…DUMB AND DUMBAH OVA HEAH.” Or something to that effect. Fuckin’ guy. There’s too much to explain. I just want to paint a picture of the man we all lost. The line of people coming in to pay respects didn’t stop the whole time the doors were open to the public. “He shoulda run faw Guvnah.”
My dad and I definitely had a couple rough patches over the years but the good times far outnumber the bad. He wanted me to work. He wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to be hounded by debt collectors. I remember the constant calls at dinner time. If that’s your job, go find a new one. But yeah…he wanted me to stay responsible and be on top of my shit. I did just that and although it wasn’t in a way he envisioned he was more than happy to see that I had my stuff together.
I was in an Edmonton hotel room when I checked my voice mail and got the message of his passing from his wife. Ray went to the hospital with an upset stomach and then his heart stopped. We’re still not sure what the exact cause of death is. It was sudden and unexpected. I flew home to attend the services yesterday. My girlfriend, friends and family are all doing what we can to get through this difficult time. My mom was unfortunately unavailable to attend but I know she wishes she could be there for me and for everyone else. I’d like to thank everyone for being so supportive. I wanted to give the public a better understanding of Raymond. If you met him once then it’s likely that you’ll remember him forever. He had a tough life but all we’ll be able to remember is his smile and the trademark machine-gun laugh. He was appropriately buried in a Red Sox jersey and with a can of beer. Too perfect. I love you, Dad. Thank you for everything you did for me. Rest in peace, big guy.
“Heyyyy…who’s betta than me??”
Raymond A. Landry 1959-2010
Yaw da best.
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Sad to read it… Be strong!
Stay sharp and I hope you will enjoy Hip Hop Camp in our country.
Best!
Viktor (Prague)
[...] 6 – My dad’s passing took a lot of wind out of my sails this year. I miss him a lot. Here is what I wrote about the big guy. [...]
I do not know you, I’m sure my son does. I just spoke with Gail. She said my story and her story were so much alike she wanted me to read your blog. You know she’s right. My son lived and breathed Matty. He was so close to him.Matty often said DJ couldn’t be more like him if he was his son. DJ has had to grow up fast and know pain that should not be felt at 16. I wanted to tell you thank you for this. I want to tell him to read this as he was not hear when Matt died. His real father told his after picking him up from school. He was the father that I never was” is what his father told DJ. Everyone loved Matt. I have cried through reading this as I can’t help but see how DJ must feel..all I or anyone can say “hugs”…elaine
Paul,
I am so sorry for your loss. I had no idea until I read this today. I met your dad only one time and to this day I remember him. He was picking you up after class for some reason. Back in Woonyville. He was very nice and proud of what you were doing. May you find peace in knowing he was always there for you and was the best father you could have asked for.
My condolences also come from Cam. He was also unaware of your fathers death. He wishes he had known and would have attended the services to be there for you.
We miss you and hope to see you soon. If there is ANYTHING, you need please don’t hesitate to contact me.
Love you sweetheart.
Wendy
Thanks for the kind words, Wendy. He was a great guy and I think about him all the time. Life has branched off in so many unpredictable directions since I last saw y’all. Please send Cam and everyone else my love.