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what's the worst hook up experience you've ever had?
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August Spies



Joined: 09 Aug 2002
Posts: 1979
Location: D.C.
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darnell wrote:
you know what's supposed to help if your grl's shit stinks orange juice.
have you ever seen a dick the size of a pinky finger, i mean length and width. i have. i stopped hooking up got dressed and walked out not saying a word.


very harsh, but it makes me feel a lot better.

I really wish I had something to contribute to this, but I don't have one night stands so I don't really have any horror stories.
Post Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:07 pm
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Krang
THE ORC BREATH


Joined: 18 Jan 2003
Posts: 811
Location: NSW, australia
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This one time i was having sex with three models, and the TV was on and missing in action 3 with chuck norris was on, and the girls got pissed and demanded i turn the TV off or theyd leave.

Needless to say i sent the girls packing
Post Mon Aug 25, 2003 10:49 pm
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August Spies



Joined: 09 Aug 2002
Posts: 1979
Location: D.C.
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Krang wrote:
This one time i was having sex with three models, and the TV was on and missing in action 3 with chuck norris was on, and the girls got pissed and demanded i turn the TV off or theyd leave.

Needless to say i sent the girls packing


good call.
Post Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:01 pm
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EyeOne



Joined: 03 Nov 2002
Posts: 95
Location: Toronto, Ontario
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ChristopherWalken wrote:
There is nothing wrong with a pinky dick.


As I always say "paper cuts hurt too!"

hehe..
Post Mon Aug 25, 2003 11:15 pm
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the Wiper



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 523
Location: Kent State University
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^

haha...

i know this is off track, but at my best friend's bachelor party, he was amongst the 3 strippers. you know how they always fuck with the person who's getting married.

anyhow, for some reason he pulls his own pants down, and is getting these girls to grind up on him, etc.

okay, well, he's ALWAYS talked about how he's really small. seriously. his now-wife rolls her eyes when he says this, and has occassionally cracked her own jokes about it.

anyhow, one of these strippers kneels down behind him while he's drunkenly screaming something incoherent, and yes, yanks those boxers down. in front of 60 of his best friends....

man. i felt bad for the cat, because he was so drunk, that he didn't know what happened at first, so everyone's just sitting there losing it. you couldn't HELP but to look. it's like, he didn't have a pinky, he had a pinky-nail.

to sum it all up. i now have a son. he's almost 19 months old. and i'd bet my house his shit is bigger than my boy's! i realize you can be caught at a bad time sometimes, but shit, i didn't know it could be like THAT!

okay, enough penis talk.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 12:51 am
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The RIAA TookMyMusicAway



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 647
Location: San Francisco, CA
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well at least he's married now. so the wife can't be too unhappy with it.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 1:05 am
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the Wiper



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 523
Location: Kent State University
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2 things...

1. it was one of those 'let's hurry up and get married before i have this kid so i don't have a child born out of wedlock' marriages.

and,

2. she weighs 275 at least. i doubt she had many other offers.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 2:23 am
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August Spies



Joined: 09 Aug 2002
Posts: 1979
Location: D.C.
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I really cannot fahtom a grown mans penis being the size of a pinky.

this is limp right?

man.... that would really really suck.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 10:02 am
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Reggie



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 5765
Location: Queens, NYC
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For having sex, you all deserve

Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 10:07 am
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Doctrine



Joined: 05 Apr 2003
Posts: 4626
Location: ATL, Livin' Swell
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Virgin here...If you don't count oral...But I'll never do those again either...

However my roomate unfortunatley is not...And he says he didn't smell the crap apparently because he was so caught up in the sex...It was hilarious because he didn't see she crapped all in his bed until she left the crib...I bet he gave her a goodbye kiss too...
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 10:31 am
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Juan2k2



Joined: 12 Sep 2002
Posts: 18
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PaigeMaster6 wrote:
i can't believe i'm even going to write about this, BUT since this thread was orginally about the worst hook up you've ever had...i'll tell mine.
this is horrible, really.
i was in college, first year, first time away from home, and for the first time guys showed interest in me. i was at this party where this one guy i was really interested in was. one thing lead to another and next thing i know we are on the way to his house. things are going NICELY, better then i had expected. we started to have sex, or what i thought was sex. however, he constantly had his hand around what i thought was his dick. after a few minutes of this i was wondering 'why is his hand there, seriously???' so, i'm like...'yo...umm' and i look and see a bright green dildo in his hand. haha. i'm like "OH HELL NO!! what the fuck are you doing?? get the FUCK off me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he stands up and he has the SMALLEST dick i have ever seen and a green dildo in his hand. i was disgusted.
it was fuckin HORRIBLE.
and i'm embarrassed now.
haha.
that was the WORST fuckin hook up i have ever experienced.
ok.
paige


thats a joke that i've heard..or something like it.

"There was this married couple, who had been married for a long time, but remained sexually active. But one thing had been bothering the wife for a long time. Everytime they made love, her husband would insist that the lights be turned off, and it HAD to be doggystyle.

So one night when they were making love, the wife hurried up and flipped the lights on and turned around and looked at her husband. There he was, holding a dildo in his hand.

'What the hell?! Explain yourself!' she yelled.

Then he said "I'll explain the dildo if you explain our 3 kids..."
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 2:37 pm
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vintge
is vintge vince? vince vintge vincge?


Joined: 17 Jul 2002
Posts: 4334
Location: LA
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pav wrote:
craig wrote:
that sounds like a challenge



ahhahahhahahaahhahahaha


i just wanted to second the ahahahaha on this one
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 3:08 pm
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taskforce



Joined: 22 Aug 2003
Posts: 100
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Once I was sleeping and when I wake Up johnny is trying to breast feed me!

and i scream "jonnhy you are 18 go fuck your girlfirend" and he takes my bottle of vasiline and runs out room.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 3:27 pm
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The RIAA TookMyMusicAway



Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 647
Location: San Francisco, CA
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Doctrine wrote:
Virgin here...If you don't count oral...But I'll never do those again either...

However my roomate unfortunatley is not...And he says he didn't smell the crap apparently because he was so caught up in the sex...It was hilarious because he didn't see she crapped all in his bed until she left the crib...I bet he gave her a goodbye kiss too...
you should do oral at least twice a say. 4 out of 5 dentists recommend it.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 5:55 pm
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Craig a.d.



Joined: 12 Mar 2003
Posts: 2141
Location: America's High-Five
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i really don't have a horrible story.

but ladies, stay away from handjobs.

i've never met a girl who can give one, yet they all try.

leave the art with the artists.
Post Tue Aug 26, 2003 6:31 pm
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