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Fort Worth Councilman tells gay teens 'it gets better'
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Strange Famous Forum > Social stuff. Political stuff. KNOWMORE

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crash



Joined: 07 Aug 2003
Posts: 5456
Location: the chocolate city with a marshmallow center and a graham cracker crust of corruption
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the idea that bullies have low self esteem has been thoroughly debunked.

http://www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PDF%20Library/Self-Esteem%20Myth.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem#Bullying.2C_violence_and_murder
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:26 pm
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zagadka
DARK PAST HAVER


Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 4932
Location: Hous of Gaga
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I'd like to know how many of you were bullied (or...bullied someone, which I sure most of us have in some way)?

In 7th grade I totally got into music big time and finally came into who I was meant to become. The self declared "alternative"/"freak" group apparently felt threatened by lil ole me doing my thing and used snottily to quiz me on my music knowledge every day at lunch. When they figured out they couldn't call me a poser because I was a music trivia junkie, they began endlessly harassing me. I would get cornered and shoved around in the locker room, awful shit yelled at me everyday...I remember one day while undressed in gym getting cornered and shoved to the floor by one of the girls while she screamed over me "What are you?! What ARE you?" (they were really into labels and whatnot...so weird) and I replied "I'm nothing", and she started laughing and said "Nothing! Nothing- that's right you ARE nothing! You're a piece of shit!". I hated going to school. Every morning I wanted to barf. I was so happy when I graduated 8th grade and went to a different high school than them.

When high school rolled around, I was still doing my own thing and always felt like the oddball out/ weird art kid. I had short hair, wore boy clothes, and apparently that means you're a lesbian. I'm fairly certain I will die with people thinking that, which to me now is hilarious and awesome but at the time I hated people spreading silly lies like that.

What happened to me was a drop in the bucket compared to what so many kids go through now, and it still made me absolutely HATE school. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be teased and bullied at a more intense level everyday, its so incredibly sad.

As an adult I still identify with anyone who feels like they don't belong any where, that people don't understand them. I try to offer an ear and tell them that one day they will find people who will absolutely adore them for the qualities they were teased over.
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 2:45 pm
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d-nyce36



Joined: 18 Feb 2009
Posts: 46
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wow- this is perfect with this article from my hometown, sort of profiling one of my former students.

http://www.metrowestdailynews.com/opinion/x1299325763/Holmes-It-gets-better
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 4:18 pm
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theodora



Joined: 07 Sep 2008
Posts: 429
Location: Boulder, CO
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Captiv8 wrote:
I'm fairly certain that education programs, at least for the most part, do not cover how to deal with bullying situations or LBGT issues, but they should. Teachers need to understand that their role extends beyond the class material and into the values that kids grow up with. I'm not saying they need to be surrogate parents, but they need to be understand that some students have misconceptions about certain things. Teachers have a chance to rectify this to a degree. Sadly, there is a lot of bureaucratic red tape to wade through, and school board's come crashing down conservatively on what is and isn't taught in schools. Hatred, fear, ignorance, and blind faith are not family values.


Last year I did just this (I teach 2nd grade) and told a student that I did not want to hear her saying that it's wrong to be gay. I remember saying, "What if I was gay? How would you feel?" Her parents called school the next day and I was reprimanded for voicing my "agenda." Fuck that. Fuck everything. I'm sick of people blaming teachers for not doing anything. It's a systemic problem. Until teachers can teach civil rights without parents and political school boards coming down on them, as you say, nothing's going to change about school. It's a shitshow.
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:35 pm
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2721
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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i still have two scars from hesitation wounds.
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 10:37 pm
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Convey



Joined: 09 Jul 2004
Posts: 410
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crash wrote:
the idea that bullies have low self esteem has been thoroughly debunked.

http://www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PDF%20Library/Self-Esteem%20Myth.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem#Bullying.2C_violence_and_murder


Maybe not in the most obvious sense, but clearly they gain some form of external validation by putting others down. People use the ego as a substitute for core confidence, so even if they possess an inflated view of themselves, it's still linked to self-esteem issues beneath the surface.
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:11 pm
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2721
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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ok i actually did try to kill myself in 8th grade due to the non stop homophobic abuse. i failed. i had two long scars about two inches each. i covered my arms even tho it was 100 degrees out, with long sleeved flannel shirts. one of my friends told the principal. the principal was on some holy roller shit. i was on some whole other shit. he invited me into his office, asked to see my arm. then opened his desk drawer, pulled out a pistol and offered it to me and asked me did i want to use it to kill myself. i glared at him. i wouldnt piss on dude if he were on fire. then he asked me if i wanted to join the school beauty pageant. urrgh what a dick. i didnt tell my family he tried to give me a gun.
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:35 pm
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Raoul DeGroot



Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 2437
Location: Son Quest
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jumped the shark
Post Thu Oct 14, 2010 11:57 pm
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Disharmony



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3008
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.
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lol@Crazy.
You crack me up.

And by crack me up I mean I can only read half of your posts before I roll my eyes and move on.


Last edited by Disharmony on Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:17 am; edited 2 times in total
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:05 am
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2721
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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a high school principal offering a bullied student a gun ?
sure. thats really jumping the shark.

it was fucked up the whole school was in on it.
i went to school in the real bible belt.

consider yourself lucky.
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:06 am
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Disharmony



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3008
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.
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Posted before my edit. But yeah.
Tell us about the time you fought a centaur.
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:07 am
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AdamBomb



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3183
Location: Louisiana
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Disharmony wrote:
Posted before my edit. But yeah.
Tell us about the time you fought a centaur.


I bullied one until it tried to kill itself. My councilman talked him out of it.

True story.
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:50 am
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19356
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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I've escaped bullying through most of my life. I can probably count less than ten times I've been really bothered by anyone. A lot of the reason I was able to avoid things like that was because an intense paranoia and distrust about people, coupled with a need to be loved. That sort of push/pull made me well liked, but enough of an unknown that I never rose to the level of "target". The short term gains of those skills were probably mitigated somewhat by the long term effects of their effective implementation upon my psyche. Who knows though.

My expectations coming out on how I would be treated were also well exceeded. I didn't lose any friends or family that mattered to me over my shit. Which I expected to.
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:40 am
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AdamBomb



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3183
Location: Louisiana
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Convey wrote:
crash wrote:
the idea that bullies have low self esteem has been thoroughly debunked.

http://www.uvm.edu/~wgibson/PDF%20Library/Self-Esteem%20Myth.pdf

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Self-esteem#Bullying.2C_violence_and_murder


Maybe not in the most obvious sense, but clearly they gain some form of external validation by putting others down. People use the ego as a substitute for core confidence, so even if they possess an inflated view of themselves, it's still linked to self-esteem issues beneath the surface.


I don't know if I would call that a thorough debunking. You even see adults try to shit on others out of their own insecurity. Probably the most confident people I have met could give a shit about focusing on the shortcomings of others. I'm sure there are different root causes of bullying, but the majority of what I have seen has been what Convey is talking about.
Post Fri Oct 15, 2010 3:42 am
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