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Tired of being judged, does it happen to any of you?
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prolific memorie



Joined: 19 Apr 2009
Posts: 1412
Location: Pieces of my brain dripping from the wall i was leaning against,that the cleaning lady found first.
Tired of being judged, does it happen to any of you?  Reply with quote  

Just an hour and a half ago, I went down the street to my local pub. I'm used to being the only 20 something there,that's fine because on a usual visit, I would have meaningful conversation or just not have to listen to mindless chatter of dumb people.

Tonight, very different story.Here it goes.

I'm sitting at my usual seat, which is in the middle of the bar(i hate corners).
A man in his late 50's, is sitting just around the corner, meaning about 7 feet away from me. After a few conversations with folks I know, it's been about 20 minutes. I order my first beer. And...this happens.

Age 50 something man says the following to the bartender, which also happens to be a fellow surfer girl I know.

"You mean your gonna serve that light skinned nigger, that's probably impregnated by some dark nigger's evil seed!! Get that nigger the fuck out of this bar."

As he pointed directly to me.

I sat there without speaking..not shocked entirely, but bothered.


He went on seconds later to ramble about how I wasn't keeping my Irish blood pure and things of that nature. I can't quote it, because I was too busy pondering on what and if I should say anything.

I chose not to,which is typical of me.
And he was quickly yelled at and escorted out of the building.

This occurred strictly because of the existence of my dreadlocks.

Saddens me more than anything.

For reasons of my own most wouldn't know of or understand.
Mainly because I am judged even in my own neighborhood, by humans that have never even dared to ask a question of me. Ignorance everywhere and I was just slapped in the face once again by it.

So ,share your opinion as well as your stories if you have any.
Post Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:40 pm
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AdamBomb



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3173
Location: Louisiana
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Disgusting. Sad people are full of so much hate.

I've got a friend that is half-black, half-white and was working in a warehouse with a bunch of older white guys. Thinking he was mexican, they started to drop all kinds of black racial slurs in conversation with him, thinking nothing of it. He was really more disappointed than offended.

I've got a mexican friend who was working at a grocery store with me in high school. The neighborhood where the grocery store was had a demographic that was 50% hispanic. He was carrying out groceries for an old white man, who thanked him for the help and thinking he was white, whispered, "Be careful out here, there's all these damn mexicans. You can't trust em". My friend had the same reaction.

I used to have an Air Conditioning job in which I rode with the main technician (white dude) to different jobs every day. He also had a well-manicured mullet. As we surfed through the radio stations, when we passed hip hop ones, he always had to say "Who the hell would listen to this N***** shit?" Not realizing that was my favorite type of music. For this reason, i'm often reluctant to let local people know that I make hip hop music.

I just feel sorry for these people.
Post Thu Sep 24, 2009 11:59 pm
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prolific memorie



Joined: 19 Apr 2009
Posts: 1412
Location: Pieces of my brain dripping from the wall i was leaning against,that the cleaning lady found first.
 Reply with quote  

I do feel sorry for them as well. I'm also angry, I guess because they don't know who the fuck I am, and how I have chosen not to endeavor myself into evil, mating(impregnation) ,marriage for the wrong and stupid reasons, as well as how much precaution I have taken towards upholding my own morals.

People are so fucking stupid.............and I am just reminded of this again on a personal level.

And I feel horrible for the people in life that go through far worse than i ever have. Because I am Irish, I am pale, I am freckled from head to toe with red hair. So, i 'm sure I get nothing compared to any one with slightly dark to dark skin.

Or with any tattoos /piercings/'labeled' lifestyles/ artist's soul/poet's heart/any one misunderstood/judged.


Last edited by prolific memorie on Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:29 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:14 am
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19356
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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My girlfriend is puerto rican but she passes white. At any rate she has lots of tattoos and some of them are in german (fassebinder quotes). So she was at a gas station one time and this guy starts talking to her about her tattoos and is like "oh you're a sister" and she thought he meant like puerto rican. then things shift a little, and it turns out he's actually a nazi skin head and thought she was too because of the german tattoos, and so was giving her all of this nazi propoganda schpiel. She went off on him telling him that she was puerto rican, and basically said if she ever saw him rolling through her neighborhood, he would get fucked up.

She's also a lesbian, but has long hair and so sometimes people will tell her homophobic shit because they think she's down.

Or the guys at work that know she's lesbian will think it's okay to say misogynist anti-woman things to her like she's one of the dudes.

She has like a billion of these kind of stories.

When she was a little kid she was throwing rocks at the KKK.

She's a lot better at talking shit back at people who say messed up things than I am.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:15 am
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prolific memorie



Joined: 19 Apr 2009
Posts: 1412
Location: Pieces of my brain dripping from the wall i was leaning against,that the cleaning lady found first.
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Dammit , sounds like what could have been a close call to both of them. I'm am sorry to hear what she or you have been through. But, someone needs to teach me some shit talking techniques, it's not in "my" blood/brain/heart.

Thanks for sharing the story.You too Adam.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:26 am
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poisonfree



Joined: 23 Aug 2002
Posts: 1511
Location: Macramento
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Florida is still the south remember that!

just playin.

Sucks.

Also mem, remember people that choose to dress a certain way or get piercings or tats have the option to take that stuff off. they are two reactions rooted in the same ignorance, but it's important to remember they are not the same.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:29 am
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Confidential



Joined: 23 Jan 2004
Posts: 2041
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At the university I went to, a professor recently quit because she was racially threatened. There was a lot of racial tension, women of color bore the brunt of it, and were assaulted on several occasions. This university was a famous for its environmental programs and "liberal" atmosphere. there were a lot of white folks with dreads. At some point, students of color became tired of everything, of being marginalized in the community, attacked on the street, of the "liberal" university and student body's absolute refusal to acknowledge the racism on campus that their position of privilege didn't allow them to see, or allowed them to see but not acknowledge. So eventually, tired of the hypocrisy of the "liberal" student body consistently ignoring the intellectual contributions of students of color in the classroom, as well as the political power,they began a series of direct actions to confront race. One action involved giving out coupons for anti-racist haircuts. These coupons read something like "good for one anti-racist haircut" with such and such date, time and place. They were given to many of the white folks who wore dread locks. Then, they were really pissed off at the audacity of students of color to call them racist, because, after all, "we are all the same" and "there's only one race- the human race" and other mantras of the "color blind" theory.

Anyway, i'm sorry that it happened or continues to happen to you, honestly. But your bewilderment tells me you don't really understand what it is to live a racialized existence. Even the fact that the other folks at the bar were handled the situation and took care of the guy is a privilege. You have the luxuroy of cutting your dreads off if you wanted to. My skin color doesn't come off.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:34 am
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AdamBomb



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3173
Location: Louisiana
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prolific memorie wrote:
But, someone needs to teach me some shit talking techniques, it's not in "my" blood/brain/heart.



I know what you mean. Anytime people say things that are unknowingly rude, usually it catches you off-guard and you wish you could go back and say something to call them out. People (in general) who launch out opinions critical of other people's lifestyles should curb that sh*t. You never fully know what people have been through or who they are.

One other one is I know a girl who had an abortion and her co-worker (kind of a religious nut) is always carrying on about her anti-abortion views. Same religious nut carried on about how she was against Harry Potter because it promoted witchcraft. The problem was, the person she was telling this to was actally a practicing Wiccan. Smh.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 12:38 am
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poisonfree



Joined: 23 Aug 2002
Posts: 1511
Location: Macramento
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Confidential wrote:
At the university I went to, a professor recently quit because she was racially threatened. There was a lot of racial tension, women of color bore the brunt of it, and were assaulted on several occasions. This university was a famous for its environmental programs and "liberal" atmosphere. there were a lot of white folks with dreads. At some point, students of color became tired of everything, of being marginalized in the community, attacked on the street, of the "liberal" university and student body's absolute refusal to acknowledge the racism on campus that their position of privilege didn't allow them to see, or allowed them to see but not acknowledge. So eventually, tired of the hypocrisy of the "liberal" student body consistently ignoring the intellectual contributions of students of color in the classroom, as well as the political power,they began a series of direct actions to confront race. One action involved giving out coupons for anti-racist haircuts. These coupons read something like "good for one anti-racist haircut" with such and such date, time and place. They were given to many of the white folks who wore dread locks. Then, they were really pissed off at the audacity of students of color to call them racist, because, after all, "we are all the same" and "there's only one race- the human race" and other mantras of the "color blind" theory.

Anyway, i'm sorry that it happened or continues to happen to you, honestly. But your bewilderment tells me you don't really understand what it is to live a racialized existence. Even the fact that the other folks at the bar were handled the situation and took care of the guy is a privilege. You have the luxuroy of cutting your dreads off if you wanted to. My skin color doesn't come off.


^Yeah what he said. I was just tip toeing.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:04 am
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19356
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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How are dreads racist? I mean I see how that position might have made sense in like 1993. But now? White folks co-opted dreads awhile ago.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:18 am
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AdamBomb



Joined: 05 Mar 2004
Posts: 3173
Location: Louisiana
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I'm sure P-mem doesn't get marginalized for being female either, right? She wasn't trying to belittle anybody else's struggle that I could gather. She basically was chilling at a bar and got degraded by a guy at a bar who added some racial elements to it.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:22 am
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prolific memorie



Joined: 19 Apr 2009
Posts: 1412
Location: Pieces of my brain dripping from the wall i was leaning against,that the cleaning lady found first.
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futuristxen wrote:
How are dreads racist? I mean I see how that position might have made sense in like 1993. But now? White folks co-opted dreads awhile ago.



The co-opted statement can also go for hair styles by any other race, or ethnicity .

It's not I, to be asked that query.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 1:23 am
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ROTTY



Joined: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 1407
Location: London
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I don’t know what it is but dreadlocks on white people just do not look good to me. Especially on men. Every single white dreadlocked male I have met I have wanted exercise their "enlightened" demons, burn their Thailand vacation photos and shove whatever spiritual symbol they have dangling round their necks up their arse!
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:37 am
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neveragainlikesheep



Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 2536
Location: TKO from Tokyo
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It depends on the individual obviously. There are plenty of dreaded white kids out there with rich mommies and daddies who are on a "culturecation" and are definitely trying to co-opt Rastafari and, in general, black image. But at the same time there are a lot of white kids with dreads who are generally trying to make a clear distinction between themselves and the place, the people and the attitudes they grew up with. These kids are generally pretty open minded and look outside of their communities for influences that enrich their lives. I don't see that as being racist. Then again you can do those things without having dreads.

I've met a couple of richy bitch white kids with dreads who definitely thought they were the shit because of their hair but couldn't even tell me the historical and political background of the hair style they were carrying around on them. Now that's a straight up co-opt. If you are going to have dreads as a white person you better be up on shit and prepare to take the ignorance of other whites around you and fight it off.

I'm not trying to criticize you prolific, but as confidential said, it's odd that you were put back by that guys' comments. That's the community you live in and like it or not, you've put yourself at odds with that culture simply with your hair. Either cut them off or start soldiering through the shit. It really is the least you can do.

Also don't think your dreads helps you identify with the struggles black people have faced. I've heard that shit before and to say the least it was disgusting and laughable. As you just found out what they do for you is that they show you the enemies in your own community and force you to take a stance.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 2:46 am
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19356
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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Wait. How is it odd that she was put back from some guy talking to her in that manner? Isn't that a normal human reaction?

black people don't have the market cornered on taking offense.

again, dreads are now a part of so many diffrent subcultures, that I don't think it should be immedietely expected that if you wore them you would suddenly be treated like your were black.

I can think of two other girls who have posted here over the years who also had dreads at diffrent times, and didn't end up with this kind of flack.
Post Fri Sep 25, 2009 3:27 am
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