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A message to "dog people": FU STFU
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Jesse



Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 6166
Location: privileged homeless
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icarus502 wrote:
Well, I am dismissive of both as long as they're willing to wax prescriptive about how nobody should have kids or how kids should not be in public. That's the "what they say" not the "who they are" part of it that I'm going to dismiss regardless of who's speaking. But, while I will "dismiss" immaturity (shoo!), I don't want to seem like I'm dismissing shitty parenting. I think about parenting far too much to be dismissive of it. Make sense?
Yeah and that's fair, but it brings us to the point where I think it's silly to argue with the idea of keeping kids in hermetic chambers until they are legal drinking age plus one because nobody earnestly thinks that.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:01 pm
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box johnson



Joined: 25 Nov 2008
Posts: 1123
Location: Denver
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Gonna pass this along:


Quote:

Stop Anthropomorphizing Me
By Gerald The Dog


I know this is going to come across a bit harsh, but I want to get straight to the point. Speaking on behalf of myself and all other completely nonhuman members of my species, I must insist that the practice of anthropomorphizing us stops right now.

I am not a human. I am a dog. I can't talk. I can't say a full sentence. Not even close. I can't experience complex emotions, I can't laugh, I can't rob a bank, and I have no idea that my name is Gerald. I can't even write, people, so please stop this anthropomorphizing business this instant.

It's not funny.

The amusement you get out of this unoriginal, overused—what shall I call it?—this fetish simply boggles the mind. What is your fascination with having animals speak? I'm a dog, for crying out loud. My brain weighs three-and-a-half ounces. Three-and-a-half ounces. I can barely understand what's going on around me, and what little knowledge I do possess is based primarily on smell. So tell me, why do you keep putting me at poker tables and making me dance and sing the blues? I do not wear hats and I certainly did not receive my doctorate in media criticism from Harvard University. I can assure you, if I were ever given a diploma, I would eat it. So, I beg you, for the last time, stop this right now.

It's silly and trite and it demeans us both.

These days, everywhere you look there's a dog dressed as a businessman or a dog solving crimes—things humans do! Not dogs! If I were a human, which, again I'm not, I imagine I'd feel slightly insulted by the media's continual rehashing of this trope. Do you realize that right now, somewhere in Los Angeles, a bunch of high-paid executives are just sitting around going, "They'll buy it if the bulldog keeps saying 'sausage' over and over again"? Doesn't that matter to you people?

It's beyond a cliché at this point. Pretending animals have the capacity to converse with one another on an intellectual level was a trite concept even back in 600 B.C., when Aesop, who I believe was a contemporary of Croesus, used the device to teach simple moral lessons with foxes and hens.

Now, here we are, two millennia later, and it's still being used to sell you guys beer. Come on.

Do you remember Lassie? Lassie made sense. When something went wrong, Lassie didn't say, "Hey, ma, we got a problem. I'll drive us there." She barked. Because that's what dogs do. Bark. When I want something, I bark. When I perceive that something has upset the status quo, I bark. What I don't do is perfectly interweave multisyllabic words from the English language to reflect my dismay.

As David Hume once said, "A wise man proportions his belief to the evidence." And the evidence on my end is clear: I'm a fucking dog. The smartest I'm ever going to get is barking at the front door when I have to go to the bathroom, so stop imbuing me with eloquence and pith!

While portraying dogs as humans may bring you satisfaction, consider that this satisfaction is, in actuality, rooted in extreme egoism, borne out of a deeper and more extreme insecurity: To see a lesser creature acting and speaking as you speak is at once validating and entertaining, for along with the silly laugh comes the calming reassurance that no other mammal on Earth can possesses advanced thought. You laugh because your place in the world remains unthreatened.

Bow wow. I am peeing on some important papers right now and don't even realize it.

Say, I've got an idea. Why don't we just get it all out of our systems right now? On the count of three, let's all have a hearty laugh over the hilarious incongruity of a dog in an astronaut's suit, and then we can sigh, shake our heads silently at one another, and get back to you being the grand expression of evolution, and me being the thing that eats pizza out of the garbage.

Unless you're doing that too, now.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:07 pm
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MessiahCarey



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 10924
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I don't dig dogs as much as I love cats but you put a cute furry thing in front of me and I'm all about it, don't give a fuck what it is, really. I miss my cats, a lot...but I really love my roomate's dog (a shi tzu)

Domestically, I think I'm over having pets...the cats I had were cool and I'm glad that I took them in instead of letting them get put to sleep, but I really think it's sorta fucked up to keep a pet.

I'm pretty sure that I don't ever want kids, personally, and I usually feel awkward around them. It's because of childhood trauma, indeed. One of the biggest things weighing on my heart lately has been why I have no desire to be a normal person and start a family...like...the fuck is wrong with me...don't I want to try and make a GOOD place for a child instead of just bowing out of the process because I'm afraid I'll do it right?! In a weird way, this stupid fucking argument on the internet is making me face this head on and now I'm actually pretty melancholy, but I think I'm coming to some sort of an epiphany.

fuck
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:14 pm
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Captiv8



Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8547
Location: Third Coast
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Is it supposed to be ironic that a dog complaining about anthropomorphism is engaging in that very process? I hope so, otherwise the author is an idiot.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:19 pm
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the mean
Certified O.G.


Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6497
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Haven't read this thread, but here is a picture of me and the best dog ever, Greta the Vegan Pit Bull. She passed away last year at the age of 14.

Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:20 pm
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Embryo



Joined: 31 Dec 2002
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Captiv8 wrote:
Is it supposed to be ironic that a dog complaining about anthropomorphism is engaging in that very process? I hope so, otherwise the author is an idiot.


yes, i think the author nods to that with the "eloquence and pith" part.

in the interest of crediting sources, here's where that came from:
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/stop_anthropomorphizing_me
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:23 pm
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invisiblewindow



Joined: 31 Dec 2002
Posts: 1063
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i like well behaved dogs, although so damn many people have unruly dogs. they treat their dogs like humans and fail to keep them in their proper (lower) place in the hierarchy.

this right here is dead on target.

phataccino wrote:

The comparison to children is ridiculous, and I have to assume that anyone actually making that argument is taking the piss. I don't really have much to add to what Icarus and Redball have said against that, except that I have yet to step in a pile of shit left by some kid on a trail or sidewalk, no kid has ever stood next to me at the beach and shaken nasty water all over me and my stuff, I've never had a meal ruined when some strange kid ran by and grabbed my sandwich off a picnic table, and I've never been bitten by a kid I didn't know.

Basically, if dog owners would just keep their stupid animals under control and realize that not everyone adores the stupid mutt the same way they do, there'd be no problems.


keep your damned dogs on leash in public.
a big dog running at my little family on a walk is not something i should ever have to tolerate.

oh and well behaved dogs rank far below well behaved kids.
this is objective truth.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:45 pm
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2734
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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dp
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:56 pm
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19373
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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I'm completely serious about keeping kids away from society until the age of 22, whereupon a special judge/social worker decides when they are ready to integrate back into things. And perhaps when they are toddlers, we can hook them up to little generators and have their moron energy power entire cities. I'll name mine Sleestak and teach him how to balance a book on his head when he walks. It'll be his thing.


noise wrote:
futuristxen, you're a fucking dumbass and I barely surf this forum anymore because of the ridiculous shit you say. you're a freakin idiot. this whole forum suffers because of your ignorance. someone who i am close with in real life who also lurks around here believes the same, this place has really gone downhill.


Haha. Good. Because I was talking to one of my friends who doesn't even read this forum, and she believe you're a turd. A third friend of mine, who you might know, isn't surprised you said that shit, because he says you're kind of a worthless person. We had a teleconference about what kind of pizza you like. I said anchovy and onion, because you probably have fish breath.

I've been posting here since 2001 too by the way. So if the place has gone downhill, it's not me it's you.

Here's a picture of my dog, isn't he cute?



He has no arms or legs. He's a snake dog. He can bark in German.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 1:59 pm
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2734
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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Jesse wrote:
Dogs! I am not a dog person. I am a eating pigs person. I think that fighting dogs is way fucking worse than slaughtering pigs. When it comes to animals, cruelty is what matters rather than death. Animals don't care if they're dead, they care if they're in physical or emotional agony. The latter is possible to different extents with different animals - certainly both dogs and pigs have relatively complex emotional lives and should be treated in a manner which respects this. I am quite certain that factory farmed pigs are not, and that's fucked up. But there's a big fucking difference in the intent required to slaughter a pig for a utilitarian purpose without taking adequate care to not distress it and to make a dog's whole life hell in the hopes of maximizing its viciousness so it can go and get torn to living ribbons by other dogs in the same situation.

This is the worst attempted equivalency ever!

I can't talk about Vick because I don't know shit about Vick, but it seems to me that potentially barring a dude from playing in the NFL for being involved in dog fighting isn't a matter of exalting DOGS, it's a matter of exalting the NFL. Like it's so precious and pristine that you can't allow a person of low moral fibre to go out and get brain damage on a muddy field for it? This is me, rolling my eyes on the internet.

But by the same token, giving a shit whether he's allowed to or not is pretty unfathomable to me. You're a grown-up, and you're mad because you might not get to watch a certain other grown-up play a fun game? I can't even wrap my head around it. I know it's entertainment and people could say almost the same thing to me about specific musicians and I just don't get it... but I just don't get it!

I also want to shake up the false dichotomy that's being implied in this thread and state that I don't have kids, I've never wanted kids and still don't want kids and I won't want them later, either. But I love them in general and I enjoy being around them and even though they can be intrusive or irritating out in the world, I don't really give a fuck because when you're out in the world you don't really get to have your experience custom-tailored to whatever suits you.

Rob, don't bother fighting with Sarah about her scheme for juvenile isolation - she's joking.

C.R.A.Z.Y wrote:
the guy came out screaming at me like some kind of ghetto ignorant piece of trash
I'm sorry you got bit in the stomach, but did you fucking seriously write that sentence out like it was okay??

Sarcastro wrote:
hahahahahaha jake that's incredible I'm gonna be laughin at that all day
You realize shit like that image is part of the reason Jake gets shit when it comes to arguments about racism, right?


yes i did and it is ok. his pants were hangin down below the bottom of his butt crack. he was swearing in ebonics, he had a fake limp when he tried to " walk " and he was on some gangster grillz shit. anyone who i see that plays up some romanticised ideal of urban " hood " to me is on some bullshit image thing " the image he wanted to project was that he was Hood and that he was ignorant to the difference from right and wrong, because right or wrong matters not to a guy who feels he can intimidate you all he wants with loud swearing and swagger. his behavior was wrong and he seemed to be proud of this like he thought he was an outlaw. he was a typical insecure white guy trying to play up a certain " ghetto " role. and i dont care what you think about how i recognize that kind of behavior. he needed to pull his fucking pants up and speak in clear english and stop fucking walking like he thinks he is a pimp. he projected the " i dont have to behave in accord to general societal etiquatte because i am a dumb thug who will swear at you in forced ebonics and kick your ass because i can " i dont care for that romanticized image shit. i have no time for it. his whole steez was ignorance and violent swearing and i was like, supposed to be scared of his sagging pants and his B, F, and C words? i'm actually from a bad neighborhood growing up and attended a poor public school but i wear my pants around my fucking ass.


Last edited by C.R.A.Z.Y on Fri May 22, 2009 2:34 pm; edited 2 times in total
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:07 pm
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redball



Joined: 12 May 2006
Posts: 6871
Location: Northern New Jersey
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So long as I'm not wiped from the database upgrade and two applications that I will be releasing after hours tonight I'd like to take a stab at replying to Marshall's question and perhaps post a picture of my dog (along with me at a younger age with very very poor fashion choices). I don't think I can do that justice now, especially with the pictures.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:08 pm
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tommi teardrop



Joined: 12 Apr 2007
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Location: Las Vegas
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I don't have the energy to read another doggy debate after the last one (which will never be eclipsed), but I would like to say that I am happy for Michael Vick. I hope someone gives him another shot. The whole thing was so completely fucked up that it almost doesn't even seem real to me.

I will end it with this, and I won't respond to anyone. They can reread the last thread about this shit.

Owning a pet dog is sort of fucked up. If you are okay with that, it's fine. But don't try to bring some symbiosis argument just to justify that you like having another living thing around that depends on you so that you can feel better about yourself and your life.

I am personally okay with owning a dog despite the moral implications as I'm not a very moral person.

I will be getting a bull terrier sometime soon and I will name him jaws or something to that effect.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:10 pm
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C.R.A.Z.Y



Joined: 18 Feb 2008
Posts: 2734
Location: Vote for me and i'll vote for you.
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Embryo wrote:


Captiv8: Jesse didn't use the word race at all -- why did you? Class prejudice is not so awesome either. I generally think CRAZY is on point with that kinda stuff, but the word 'ghetto' used pejoratively definitely chafes me as well.




look let me corrct my own first mention. this guy was trying to play up what he thinks is a urban ghetto attitude. and he was white and he seemed to be really full of shit and phony. he WAS ignorant too. really ignorant. i think that his romanticizing of " urban " and " ghetto " hood shit is actually in it's self racist. he was the kind of white guy who acts a certain way that he think is cool because he romanticizes being black. but no black person was as ignorant as this guy. his stupidity and desire to act like a moron transcended all racial boundaries. he was a black face cariacture without the make up. when i use that term ghetto like that i usually refer to white people who feel they are simulating black culture but are doing it in a racist feeling way to me.

all in all i feel like people like him are actually racist because they have a certain idea in their mind of what they think black is and they want to imitate that ideal.

and this is a discussion on dogs not race so that is all i have to say about it.


Last edited by C.R.A.Z.Y on Fri May 22, 2009 2:35 pm; edited 1 time in total
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:15 pm
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Jesse



Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 6166
Location: privileged homeless
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C.R.A.Z.Y wrote:
Jesse wrote:
C.R.A.Z.Y wrote:
the guy came out screaming at me like some kind of ghetto ignorant piece of trash
I'm sorry you got bit in the stomach, but did you fucking seriously write that sentence out like it was okay??
yes i did and it is ok. his pants were hangin down below the bottom of his butt crack. he was swearing in ebonics, he had a fake limp when he " walked " and he was on some gangster grillz shit. anyone who i see that plays up some romanticised ideal of urban " hood " to me is on some bullshit image thing " the image he wanted to project was that he was Hood and that he was ignorant to the difference from right and wrong, because right or wrong matters not to a guy who feels he can intimidate you all he wants with loud swearing and swagger. his behavior was wrong and he seemed to be proud of this like he thought he was an outlaw. he was a typical insecure white guy trying to lay up a certain role. and i dont care what you think about how i recognize that kind of behavior. he needed to pull his fucking pants up and speak in clear english and stop fucking walking like he thinks he is a pimp. he projected the " i dont have to behave in accord to general societal etiquatte because i am a dumb thug who will swear at you in forced ebonics and kick your ass because i can " i dont care for that romanticized image shit shit. i have no time for it. his whole steez was ignorance and violent swearing and i was like, supposed to be scared of his sagging pants and his B,F, and C words? i'm actually from a bad neighborhood growing up and attended a poor public school but i wear my pants around my fucking ass.
Alright, Bill Cosby. Acknowledging that you don't care what I think and that the following is pointless...

I wasn't talking about the cultural prejudices you're sticking up for, though, I was talking about the word "ghetto" specifically. I mean, it's amplified when you stick it in front of "piece of trash," but I'm not talking about that either. I'm not even talking about the idea that conflating destitution with worthlessness is a lousy thing to do, although Embryo was and he's not wrong to do so.

I'm talking about the fact that "ghetto" means ethnic neighborhood, and that you are NOT leaving that behind when you use it pejoratively. You're amplifying the tripartate association of non-whiteness (qua whiteness), poverty, and dehumanizing worthlessness.

And I'd have to be an idiot to think that's what you INTENDED to do, so let's not bother with the argument where I'm an idiot.

But you're doing it by accident, and you should do something else on purpose. Or at least own up and say "he was probably poor and acted all black" if you're really going to ride for the terminology you used. Validate the sapir-whorf hypothesis!
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:18 pm
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futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19373
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
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tommi teardrop wrote:
I don't have the energy to read another doggy debate after the last one (which will never be eclipsed), but I would like to say that I am happy for Michael Vick. I hope someone gives him another shot. The whole thing was so completely fucked up that it almost doesn't even seem real to me.



I agree with this. It is amazing to me that any of this is happening. He paid his debt to society. Now he should be able to move on with his life, lesson learned.

That isn't even about the dogs, IMO. It's about the NFL. What they are doing to Vick is why I won't ever watch the NFL. The sanctimonious bullshit that goes on in the name of the NFL always hits me the wrong way. The NFL is the perfect example of why you need a strong player's union.
Post Fri May 22, 2009 2:20 pm
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