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Ever sneeze so hard your scrotum hurts?
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remind



Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Posts: 2202
Location: NJ
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Ever sneeze so hard that boogers come outta your eye?
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:12 pm
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Szechwan



Joined: 19 Mar 2007
Posts: 587
Location: Vancouver Island
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No boogers, but in the last few months I've felt air movement through there when sneezing. Weird feeling, but not detrimental to my overall sneezing style, still look forward to them eeeevery time.


Can't say I've noticed any sneeze pain in my grundle, but I have gotten the odd muscle cramp down there in no-man's land. Its not as intense as a leg cramp, thank fucking god, but uncomfortable none the less.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:29 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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remind wrote:
anomaly wrote:
My grundle is maintenance-free, but I somehow sit on one of my balls constantly.


I've done this. But constantly? Get some smaller balls, man. Or start cupping them up before you sit. Don't worry about how this will look. Gotta protect your balls.




I'd like to think my grundle is maintenance free.. i mean, i've never had to 'maintain' it.

Just out of curiosity, how would one go about 'maintaining' ones grundle?

Are we talking just mowing the lawn, or is there some revolutionary gooch control methods that i've missed out on?

It's like the bodies Area 51.

The Badlands.

Bartertown.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 5:23 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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A couple of times in the last 3 years my left earlobe has swollen up to a cherry sized pus & blood filled monstrosity.

It takes about a week to grow & then a little scab forms on the back of my ear. When i peel that sucker it's like Satan himself is cumming out of my earlobe.

Lucifer Ear Loads.

I consulted a few medical websites and i either have a cyst sack in my lobe which fills & drains that i could get cut out, or i have coeliac disease.

I'd go to a real doctor but i have generations of inbuilt man-shame about seeking medical attention for anything less than an amputation.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:10 pm
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tommi teardrop



Joined: 12 Apr 2007
Posts: 2216
Location: Las Vegas
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Ha. I once had what felt like a tumor in my armpit. My inbuilt man-shame forced me to just live with it until one day it felt popable in the shower. I almost fainted at the amount of blood and what came out. Must have been a calcium deposit or something.

I don't know what it would take to actually get me to go to the doctor at this point in life.

Regarding the grundle: I've heard you can press against your grundle when you are about to come, and it will prevent you from ejaculating and allow you to keep going and come again later. Sounds like a lot of work to me though and I'm never aware enough to actually try it.

Someone give it a go and let me know how it works out.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:15 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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tommi teardrop wrote:
Ha. I once had what felt like a tumor in my armpit. My inbuilt man-shame forced me to just live with it until one day it felt popable in the shower. I almost fainted at the amount of blood and what came out. Must have been a calcium deposit or something.



Man that was probably Kuato. He was trying to tell you start the reactor.



And you killed him.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:42 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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tommi teardrop wrote:

Regarding the grundle: I've heard you can press against your grundle when you are about to come, and it will prevent you from ejaculating and allow you to keep going and come again later. Sounds like a lot of work to me though and I'm never aware enough to actually try it.

Someone give it a go and let me know how it works out.


"Hang on baby... uhh.. hang... hang on... quick quick quick!.. put your finger here!"

'What?'

"QUICKLY TOUCH IT!"

'uhm?'

"TOUCHHH ITTT!"

Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 6:58 pm
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Disharmony



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3027
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.
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Plum Puddin' wrote:
A couple of times in the last 3 years my left earlobe has swollen up to a cherry sized pus & blood filled monstrosity.

It takes about a week to grow & then a little scab forms on the back of my ear. When i peel that sucker it's like Satan himself is cumming out of my earlobe.

Lucifer Ear Loads.

I consulted a few medical websites and i either have a cyst sack in my lobe which fills & drains that i could get cut out, or i have coeliac disease.

I'd go to a real doctor but i have generations of inbuilt man-shame about seeking medical attention for anything less than an amputation.
There was a post on reddit about this a few days ago. It sounds like something that a lot of people suffer from. Who knew.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:25 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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Oh.

Was kind of hoping my lobe was a portal to Baphomet's glory hole.

Anyway, how's your grundle bro?
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:38 pm
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21620
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tommi teardrop wrote:

Regarding the grundle: I've heard you can press against your grundle when you are about to come, and it will prevent you from ejaculating and allow you to keep going and come again later. Sounds like a lot of work to me though and I'm never aware enough to actually try it.

Someone give it a go and let me know how it works out.


This is a trick I learned as a kid. I have no idea how I heard about it, but it was probably explained in one of my mom's Cosmopolitan magazines. Once I discovered that those magazines were thinly veiled porn magazines, I read them front to back and made as much use of them as I could. Hey, it was the 80's.

Anyway, yes...this works. But not in the way you're assuming. It doesn't allow you to "keep going." You actually do ejaculate, but instead of it coming out of your dick it is redirected somewhere inside. haha. That's the best way I can describe it. It changes paths. What you have to be careful of is that you don't BLOCK the sperm, because that will eventually do damage. You have to learn the right place to press in order for it to get redirected. The downside to this technique is that you have to have more presence of mind than most people do when climaxing. The upside is that there is no mess to clean up afterward.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:00 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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But where does it go Dr. Francis?

Surely after a few times there would be a cum dam forming somewhere inside.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:34 pm
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21620
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Have you ever farted inside your body rather than having it squeak out? I imagine the semen goes to the same part of the body.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:43 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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This anatomy thing is finally starting to make sense.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 8:49 pm
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Plum Puddin'



Joined: 26 May 2008
Posts: 1834
Location: Torture World, Rectal Feeding Unit.
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Now if only we can somehow work out how to impregnate a fart molecule with some fermented micro-sperm... we could be rich.

Someone make a kickstarter with cool flashy fonts & GFX.
Post Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:36 pm
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Disharmony



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3027
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.
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Sage Francis dropping the squeeze technique knowledge. This thread is speeding towards epic status.

Plum: My grundle is great...I think. I've never really met it though. He is like a beautiful stranger.

Edit: Also, guize, the secret to longer sex is "edging" and or, "stop and go". You fuck yourself up when you're a kid spanking it as fast as possible. You have to rewire your orgasm trigger. Believe dat.
Post Wed Feb 27, 2013 3:17 am
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