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breakup thread. is it in the air?
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scrappy



Joined: 01 Feb 2005
Posts: 361
Location: loveland
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Add another to the list.

We've been together for 4 years, lived together for the last 3. I moved to Colorado for him.
In two weeks I'll be moving to New York and he's staying here. We've been trying to do the friend thing and, so far, it's going okay. Some days are harder than others. Breaking up and then continuing to live together for a month is not easy. I don't plan on cutting off communication when I leave, but I do think that the distance will make it easier.

Also, my next door neighbors are getting a divorce, a good friend of mine is in the process of ending a 10 year relationship, and my sister and brother-in-law are talking about separating. It's a rough time for relationships.
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:42 pm
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Captiv8



Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8532
Location: Third Coast
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Nah. It's just the way things are. People come, people go. Some things last a long time, some things are brief, and some things are in between. And staying friends is a person by person assessment. Some former couples can do it, and some can't. There are no absolutes in relationships.
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:46 pm
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mortalthoughts
LAME KID


Joined: 12 Dec 2002
Posts: 11616
Location: MI
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Captiv8 wrote:
Nah. It's just the way things are. People come, people go. Some things last a long time, some things are brief, and some things are in between. And staying friends is a person by person assessment. Some former couples can do it, and some can't. There are no absolutes in relationships.


how do i not fuck it up even worse though is the issue im dealing with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XCxKXbmW40&feature=related

that track almost sums up more then i think i could put into words
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:51 pm
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Captiv8



Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8532
Location: Third Coast
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I guess the best thing for you to do is recognize that it's her call, not yours. It hurts to hear that, and it hurts more to know that, but that's the truth. You can try to plead your case, but in the end it's not your decision. Sometimes you have to accept the hard facts when they come. I don't envy your position, because I know it's difficult to bear and you're probably anxious and pulling your hair out. Give it some time and see what happens. For now I'd say fall back on friends and family, and do some things you haven't been able to do in a while. Stay active and keep your mind fresh.
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:02 pm
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mortalthoughts
LAME KID


Joined: 12 Dec 2002
Posts: 11616
Location: MI
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i guess i allready knew the answer to that question but it still sucks! ive never been so emotionally attached to someone before.

all i know is if i dont meet someone in the next 7-8 years that i feel i want to have kids with is im having my balls chopped........i refuse to have kids and be the old man dad that cant play sports and run around and coach whatever for...it just wouldnt feel right
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:30 pm
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Disharmony



Joined: 01 Jun 2003
Posts: 3009
Location: Buried in Minnesota dirt.
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Love isn't real. It's a dark trap that unsuspecting victims find themselves in when they break into the steel bars holding the wild animals that they want to feed for the thrill, just for a story with a sad ending.....Lolz, just kidding. Relationships are not made of stone, they're tempest seas. People come and go. It will hurt. Your world may end a few times before you feel content. Time is your best medicine in these matters.
(and masturbation)
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 10:45 pm
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Dream Inspired



Joined: 09 Jun 2006
Posts: 2121
Location: genoa
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does she have a boyfriend? if she doesn't, things may change with you and her daughter once she has a boyfriend.
and i don't really condone staying in a semi-relationship with her for her child unless you plan to stay dad to the kid for the rest of her life...

i don't know man, it's a tough situation to be in. i feel for you.
Post Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:30 pm
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Lants



Joined: 07 Aug 2006
Posts: 2234
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re: my comment to not stay in contact -

this honestly was the only thing that allowed me to move on and gain some new perspective. being away from him helped me see 'us' in a whole new light. i had somehow become a mother to my 27yo boyfriend. i hated my life.

i think you can feel love for many people. lasting love - that is something that happens when more than just chemistry is involved. you need to find someone who helps you be the best version of yourself. that's real. if you hate who you are right now, you need to re-evaluate your choices about the people around you.

as for my other ex's - i am actually friends with them. i guess this one was just too near a miss.
Post Fri Jun 10, 2011 12:57 am
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mzehe916



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 4542
Location: Switzerland
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It is in the air...and you brought it with you. Now mine has gone to shit. She blames distance and wanting different things. I blame you. Now I have to get back out there....the show must go on!!!
Post Tue Jun 28, 2011 3:19 am
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Prontoid



Joined: 07 Aug 2002
Posts: 1605
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Lants wrote:
re: my comment to not stay in contact -

this honestly was the only thing that allowed me to move on and gain some new perspective. being away from him helped me see 'us' in a whole new light. i had somehow become a mother to my 27yo boyfriend. i hated my life.

i think you can feel love for many people. lasting love - that is something that happens when more than just chemistry is involved. you need to find someone who helps you be the best version of yourself. that's real. if you hate who you are right now, you need to re-evaluate your choices about the people around you.

as for my other ex's - i am actually friends with them. i guess this one was just too near a miss.


I think it depends on the situation, with my recent ex it was absolutely imperative that we had no contact for 5 or so months, now we are good friends and its not wierd at all...
Post Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:26 pm
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