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Childhood beliefs and the moment you realised...
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RealJustice



Joined: 04 Sep 2002
Posts: 1193
Location: Abstract Packistan
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It's not as funny as some of these, but until I was 21 or 22, I didn't know HIV could be spread through semen. (I knew it was spread through blood and not spread by toilet seats, FWIW.) I'm 29.

Here's a good TAL about this:
http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/293/a-little-bit-of-knowledge
Post Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:25 pm
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Bandini
WIZARD APPRENTICE


Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 4669
Location: jerk city
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I like this thread. Listening to the TAL now.
Post Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:36 pm
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xGasPricesx



Joined: 23 May 2008
Posts: 1552
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I have been trying for about the past 24 hours to figure out the name of that TAL episode, so thank you for posting that. There's some good ones in there.
Post Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:37 pm
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Junny Concept



Joined: 19 Nov 2002
Posts: 284
Location: Columbus Ohio
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As a child I knew that a pee-pee, a wee-wee, a ding-dong, a dick, etc etc were all other names for the penis

BUT

As a child my mom told me that girls have "Mooseys (moose-eez)"...and I thought there was no other name for the vagina until early on in elementary school when I made the mistake of using it as the actual scientific term. "boys have penis' and girls have mooseys"


I also thought my name was Teeja for awhile, I would try to call myself that, I wouldn't respond to my real name. Then my mom yelled at me and told me that wasn't my name...I was heartbroken.
Post Tue Nov 09, 2010 9:39 pm
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AharonHebert



Joined: 13 Nov 2008
Posts: 123
Location: maine
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i thought everyone masturbated by humping their bed, probably around age 13 after a few years of using this method my friends and i were talking about it and one of them made a jerking off motion with their hand and i was like, what the fuck is that. i do it regular now so dont worry about me
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 5:39 am
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Jesse Custer



Joined: 01 Dec 2006
Posts: 1258
Location: London
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AharonHebert wrote:
i thought everyone masturbated by humping their bed, probably around age 13 after a few years of using this method my friends and i were talking about it and one of them made a jerking off motion with their hand and i was like, what the fuck is that. i do it regular now so dont worry about me


I started with that method and graduated likewise...


I just found out about a year or two back that some people wipe their ass standing up! I was like - :O ! when I first heard this. I still find it a bit ridiculous. I've tried it of course, as an attempt to understand it, but if feels very alien.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:20 am
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Mark in Minnesota



Joined: 02 Jan 2004
Posts: 2019
Location: Saint Louis Park, MN
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My dad used to watch prime time news all the time when I was a kid, it was just kind of on the background and I picked up random things from it. I was an elementary school kid who had a reasonably lucid argument for why a trade deficit with Japan was bad, for example. I remember hearing on the news that Donald Regan had replaced James Baker as the White House Chief of Staff and thought for a long time afterward that this meant Ronald Reagan had changed Vice Presidents during his second term, and that George Bush no longer had the office.

An episode of Diff'rent Strokes where Willis got in trouble for having a bag of marijuana convinced me for about a year that actual grass was a drug and that children could get in trouble for taking lawn clippings home from school.

A married couple who worked as supervisors in the call center that employed me when I was 20 convinced me for about a week that they owned a pet tiger and kept it in their basement.

Until I was about 8 I thought the word "rival" meant someone who is neither a friend nor an enemy, but is instead somewhere in between.

There is a Shel Silverstein poem warning children not to pick their noses because a snail inside your nostril will bite your finger off. I believed this to be literally true for a while when I was young, and gave myself more than one nosebleed trying to find it.

I saw graffiti in a Minneapolis bathroom saying something like "For blowjobs, call Joe at XXX-XXXX" and thought that a "blowjob" was something like using explosives to break into a bank vault -- but I was confused enough by the context to ask my dad what the word actually meant. He was alarmed and wanted to know where I heard the word to make sure nobody was asking me to be involved with one, but gave me an honest answer to the question.

As a preschooler I thought See-n-Say toys were called coyotes.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:32 am
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ROTTY



Joined: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 1407
Location: London
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I was doing my Geography homework and it was naming cloud formations.

I had cumulus nimbus down and most of the others. After my dad helped me with the last formation i gave my homework to the teacher who imediately pointed at this answer and said "This is most certainly not the correct answer"

I responded "sorry miss but thats what my Dad told me to put."

My dad convinced me that Cunninglingus was the correct cloud formation.

First time my Dad was in more trouble than me after a parents evening.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:14 am
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zagadka
DARK PAST HAVER


Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 4932
Location: Hous of Gaga
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The first time I went on a plane was when I was 5, we were going to Disney World in Florida. My mom was pep-talking me about going on a plane because I was a very nervous kid, she was telling me we were going to be up in the clouds and we would be going through them. I was pretty stoked about rolling down the window and scooping up clouds in a can. I distinctly remember that, the can was all cartoon style with the jagged lid, and there was a cartoon tomato on the label. She kept telling me that there were no opening of windows, but I kept imagining anyhow.

Growing up, I always thought when people humped missionary style that the guy was literally just bouncing up and down on the girl horizontally. When I was about in 9th grade, my BFF and I used to play this stupid computer game non-stop, it was a customizable play where you get to choose the scene, the cast, the dialog and of course we made it super dirty and just off the walls stupid. We figured out how to do stop-motion animation with it, because there were obviously no stock movements for getting someone to shit out a Xmas ham at church. We also figured out how to make them bone, on the altar at church, and that's how I learned that it was a gliding motion and not like horizontal trampolining. Thanks, Opening Night!
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 7:44 am
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FranktheP



Joined: 21 Jul 2004
Posts: 1367
Location: East Coast, Fuck You!
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ROTTY wrote:
I was doing my Geography homework and it was naming cloud formations.

I had cumulus nimbus down and most of the others. After my dad helped me with the last formation i gave my homework to the teacher who imediately pointed at this answer and said "This is most certainly not the correct answer"

I responded "sorry miss but thats what my Dad told me to put."

My dad convinced me that Cunninglingus was the correct cloud formation.

First time my Dad was in more trouble than me after a parents evening.


Your Dad sounds like a good time.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:23 pm
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mzehe916



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 4543
Location: Switzerland
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I was one of those kids that thought that old people grew up in a black and white world. Well, I mean, beyond the segregation, I thought they could only see black, white, and shades of gray. My father made it clear that he didn't grow up in a television, but that his old telephone number was "Oak Park ###". Which then led me to again believe that he grew up in a black/white tv land.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 1:52 pm
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X the Outsider



Joined: 17 Apr 2005
Posts: 1070
Location: Iowa
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mzehe916 wrote:
I was one of those kids that thought that old people grew up in a black and white world. Well, I mean, beyond the segregation, I thought they could only see black, white, and shades of gray. My father made it clear that he didn't grow up in a television, but that his old telephone number was "Oak Park ###". Which then led me to again believe that he grew up in a black/white tv land.


I'm glad I'm not the only who thought that. I can remember asking my dad when everyone went from black and white to color.
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 2:49 pm
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mortalthoughts
LAME KID


Joined: 12 Dec 2002
Posts: 11616
Location: MI
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X the Outsider wrote:
mzehe916 wrote:
I was one of those kids that thought that old people grew up in a black and white world. Well, I mean, beyond the segregation, I thought they could only see black, white, and shades of gray. My father made it clear that he didn't grow up in a television, but that his old telephone number was "Oak Park ###". Which then led me to again believe that he grew up in a black/white tv land.


I'm glad I'm not the only who thought that. I can remember asking my dad when everyone went from black and white to color.


theres a movie like that
Post Wed Nov 10, 2010 3:08 pm
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ROTTY



Joined: 28 Apr 2005
Posts: 1407
Location: London
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FranktheP wrote:
ROTTY wrote:
I was doing my Geography homework and it was naming cloud formations.

I had cumulus nimbus down and most of the others. After my dad helped me with the last formation i gave my homework to the teacher who imediately pointed at this answer and said "This is most certainly not the correct answer"

I responded "sorry miss but thats what my Dad told me to put."

My dad convinced me that Cunninglingus was the correct cloud formation.

First time my Dad was in more trouble than me after a parents evening.


Your Dad sounds like a good time.


Yeah he is great. A real Joker. It was embarrassing when I was young but I look back on this stuff now and it is pure gold.

There was a time my brother had his mate over from school. The kid was a horrible snobby kid. My dad hated him. Whenever he use to walk up the drive my dad would just stare at him all serious, one of them 'you’re not from around these parts' kind of look. One day my dad caught this kid helping him self to stuff in the kitchen . So my pa decided to grab hi black widow catapult a pocket full of corks and a makeshift camouflage head gear. He took me along for the "secret mission." I am 3 years the younger of my brother so I was very willing to help take down one of his friends.

We hid by this hatch that had that had a plant in it (Camouflage head gear came in handy). This hatch connected the TV room to our kitchen. So while my brother and our target were watching TV my dad aimed. Next thing I know this kid starts hysterically crying. My Dad hit his target in the eye and so my dad drops the catapult and shouts "Run!” I just see my Dads legs going hell to leather towards our local pub. Meanwhile im left there having to explain to my mum what happened.

My mum did not doubt what I told her was the truth. I felt bad for ratting my Dad out. The worst thing was this was the second kid victim of my Dads blackwidow.
Post Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:30 am
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neveragainlikesheep



Joined: 22 May 2008
Posts: 2536
Location: TKO from Tokyo
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Your dad is the dad that I wish I had and the dad that I hope to become.
Post Thu Nov 11, 2010 7:48 am
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