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Mildly Horrified Soccer Mom Reviews My Satanic Album...
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b. dolan
FBI agent


Joined: 17 Nov 2004
Posts: 5700
Mildly Horrified Soccer Mom Reviews My Satanic Album...  Reply with quote  

http://fightingwindmills.wordpress.com/2008/05/27/you-seem-strange/

My husband and a friend had just installed a new CD DVD drive in our computer and were looking for the closest disc around to test it out. On the desk in plain view was “The Failure” by B. Dolan and I drew in a deep breath when my husband loaded it into the drive. He innocently inquired, “What kind of music does this guy do? Ballads?” I responded meekly, “No, no, not ballads,” and waited for his reaction. When the first track started, my husband glared suspiciously at the Windows Media Player Visualization screen. “Is this Satanic music?” he asked me.

I am going to give B. Dolan a chance, and I’ll elaborate why. I am open-minded about music and although I can quickly decipher between what I think is “good” music and what I think is “bad” music, admitting that the first track on this CD does sound Satanic does not necessarily put the entire album into the “bad” category in my opinion. He is a performance artist whose stage personality thrives on controversy and causing emotional reactions in his audience. I’m reminded of Buddy Wakefield, who also provokes his audience with raw poetic style.

I’m also reminded of Guillermo Gomez-Peña, another performance artist thriving on controversy, who incessantly prods and pokes at his audience, willing us to reconsider our relationship with the stranger, the foreign, the invader.

To get an idea of what kind of person B. Dolan is, I read the “History” page of his website. I discovered that he is the co-founder of the very useful website Knowmore.org and uses hip-hop, rap and poetry to spark creativity in at-risk young people. Can you see the benefits of not judging a book by its cover? Although he is accurately described by a YouTube commenter as having “the look of a real psychopath satanic clown nightmare prison rapist,” his life’s purpose is beautiful. He calls out hypocrites, and obliterates the unconsciousness that causes humans to put up barriers.

I’ve been listening to this album for about 2 weeks. It is growing on me. It seemed so strange at first, but now it seems familiar. Some gems on this album are “Knock Knock”, “Heart Failure”, and my favorite, “Joan of Arcadia”. Even if you don’t think you’ll like B. Dolan’s music, please visit his website, Knowmore.org and know more about conscious consumption.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 7:38 am
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Captiv8



Joined: 25 Aug 2006
Posts: 8547
Location: Third Coast
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Hahaha, what the hell does Satanic music really sound like? Unless you're actually chanting "I worship Satan and so should you!" or something close, I don't get it. Why did she even have your CD in the first place, especially when you said it was just laying around on her desk like it was magically placed there. By Satan.

At least she checked you out thoroughly and came across Knowmore.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 7:46 am
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zagadka
DARK PAST HAVER


Joined: 30 Nov 2004
Posts: 4932
Location: Hous of Gaga
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Captiv8 wrote:
Hahaha, what the hell does Satanic music really sound like? Unless you're actually chanting "I worship Satan and so should you!" or something close, I don't get it. Why did she even have your CD in the first place, especially when you said it was just laying around on her desk like it was magically placed there. By Satan.

At least she checked you out thoroughly and came across Knowmore.


totally what i was thinking!
Post Sat May 31, 2008 7:57 am
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sneeeeb
COCKRING WRAITH


Joined: 19 Oct 2006
Posts: 2387
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SHILL
Post Sat May 31, 2008 8:01 am
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Lusid
http://youtube.com/watch?v=skCV2L0c6K0


Joined: 02 Apr 2007
Posts: 5081
Location: Dr. Pepperland
Re: Mildly Horrified Soccer Mom Reviews My Satanic Album...  Reply with quote  

b. dolan wrote:
his life’s purpose is beautiful.



awwwwwwe.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 8:37 am
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m hanora
Holy Mary Mother of Pwn.


Joined: 04 Feb 2006
Posts: 1235
Re: Mildly Horrified Soccer Mom Reviews My Satanic Album...  Reply with quote  

b. dolan wrote:


I’m also reminded of Guillermo Gomez-Peña





this is a great compliment.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 9:24 am
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The Count



Joined: 26 May 2006
Posts: 1558
Location: Chapel Hill
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I'm not sure you could really ask more from a person in terms of an album review.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 9:28 am
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kese



Joined: 16 Mar 2003
Posts: 5454
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The Count wrote:
I'm not sure you could really ask more from a person in terms of an album review.


Definitely true.
I hope more and more people come to the realization that B's got the goods.
Shedding light into the darkness little by little.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 9:42 am
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the mean
Certified O.G.


Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6497
Location: philly/sacto/kauai/ohio
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That cracked me up.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 9:47 am
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breakreep
homophobic yet curious


Joined: 27 Sep 2004
Posts: 6627
Location: Fifth Jerusalem
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That was actually pretty wonderful.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 9:50 am
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knowrites



Joined: 05 Apr 2007
Posts: 2060
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Captiv8 wrote:
Why did she even have your CD in the first place, especially when you said it was just laying around on her desk like it was magically placed there. By Satan.

exactly what i'm wondering.
it's not like it's something she just picked up at wall-mart on the 'top 40' rack.
..they still have one of those right?
i always hated that thing.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 10:06 am
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Dan Shay



Joined: 30 Aug 2003
Posts: 11245
Location: MN
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the thread title reminds me....

in sixth grade I came out of the electric fetus (local record store), got in my moms car, pulled the shrinkwrap off the cassette with my teeth and started listening to the Dead Milkmen's Beelzebubba on the way to a friends birthday party.

The second song comes on, it's called RC's Mom. After about fifteen seconds of this song my mom pulls the cassette out of the deck and I never see the cassette again. (I had to rebuy it a week later on the down low) I really don't blame my mom though.

Here are the lyrics to RC's Mom, (done in a James Brown parody voice)

I'm gonna beat my wife
I'm gonna beat my wife now
Gonna smack her with a lead pipe
Gonna smack her with a 2x4
Run her over with a Brink's truck
Chase her down with a lawn mower

Gonna beat my wife
Look out!

Wife beatin'
Mistreatin'
Wife slappin'
It happens

Gonna beat my wife
Gonna beat your wife
Gonna beat his wife
Gonna beat her wife
Gonna beat my wife
Gonna slap my wife
Gonna kick my wife
Good God, y'all!

Gonna beat my wife
Gonna beat my wife
At the shelter
Helter skelter

Wife kickin'
Finger lickin'
Wife killin'
It's thrillin'

Oh baby please don't beat me, baby
I promise I'll never sleep with the moon in my face no more!

I'm gonna beat my wife
Heh heh h
Post Sat May 31, 2008 10:10 am
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knowrites



Joined: 05 Apr 2007
Posts: 2060
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ahh... the milkmen.
i tried playing them at work once....
Post Sat May 31, 2008 10:16 am
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jehu



Joined: 25 Aug 2002
Posts: 9310
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Captiv8 wrote:


At least she checked you out thoroughly and came across Knowmore.


exactly, she went further than a lot of kids who might not like it on first listen would have. sounds to me like she was fairly reasonable about the whole process.
Post Sat May 31, 2008 10:35 am
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Psycho-78



Joined: 18 Dec 2007
Posts: 966
Location: ...from parts unknown
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this was probably the most honest review that i have ever read. most likely this is someone who writes for an independent publication that just happened to get the cd to review. imagine her reaction to the original incarnation of the failure.
Post Sun Jun 01, 2008 2:52 am
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