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I'm not liking this life.
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21531
I'm not liking this life.  Reply with quote  

Depression strikes.

Day after day I do these motherfucking shows. Long rides. car accidents. drunk people. hecklers. critics. I think these things are starting to overshadow the love and enjoyment that I am able to get from this lifestyle.

What the fuck kind of fans am I attracting? How can someone be heckling me from the crowd and I am the ONLY ONE who deals with it? Pussies. A crowd of pussies.

I got in a scuffle with someone in the crowd two nights in a row. They both made me feel sick to my stomach. It felt like I was taking a necessary measure at the time.

I am getting well constructed emails from people calling me a hypocrite because I tour in a van (and that's just as bad as an SUV somehow.) How the hell else are 9 people supposed to sufficiently travel from city to city? I sprained my ankle at yesterday's show (very badly) and performed in horrible pain without saying as much as "shit." Today I was lashed out at by a couple audience members because I wasn't the saint they think i make myself out to be.

Who the FUCK have y'all been listening to????????

WAKE THE FUCK UP, ASSHOLES.

I hate this new wave of people I have come across on this tour. They didn't exist before.

Yes, I sell merchandise. Selling merchandise is what has kept me away from serving ice cream for the past three years. It's the only reason I'm able to be your topic of coffee table conversation. I have not ever tried to present myself in a "holier than thou" manner, which I was also accused of today. i am a man with many MANY flaws. I write, record, perform, and entertain. That is my passion as well as my job.

the emails I am getting are insane. like...the things people blame me of really blow my mind. today's show was so difficult for me. I almost feel like crying right now and I don't know why. We woke up at 7 AM (on 2 hours of sleep), got in a car accident, drove 14 hours through rain and snowy mountains in order to get to Missoula, MT. The stage was miniscule but that was fine since I had a sprained ankle and needed to stay stationary anyway. The amount of smoke in the room coupled with my inability to hear my own voice on the monitors really put a strain on my throat to the point that the whole performance was painful. It literally hurt to perform. And unfortunately, the low mood I was in was translated to the crowd in the form of an iffy performance. I was offered weed so many fucking times that I stopped responding to voices.

I came back to the hotel room to recieve this email from Matt Cerullo:

"sage, i am a twenty-six year old male form boston who has recently relocated to montana to get as far away from pricks like you as possible. i am against invading iraq, for the obvious reasons. after hearing so many great things about you and your words i went to see your show in missoula tonight and walked out halfway through your set. i had to get home and check you out on the web cause i was sure that a pompous ass such as yourself would have a web site selling all your shit. sure enough, www.sagefrancis.com. during the performance of 'Makeshift Patriot' you mention all the suvs americans have to gas up, how the fuck did you get from tallahasse to missoula? in the interview on mvremix.com you make reference to recording/sampling the crowd at ground zero cheering on the rescue workers after the eleventh, simply perverse. also you are quoted as saying "It disturbs me for a number of reasons. and not just because I won't be seeing any money. that's the least of my concerns. I don't want to talk about this"(mvremix), in reference to your album being leaked on the web. why don't you want to talk about it? maybe because you are pissed about the $$$$? of course you are, why don't you call james hetfield and cry to him, i'll bet he'll listen. on your website there is a banner announcing,"COMING SOON!!Sage Francis store!Buy all Sage related items and get frequent show updates"(sagefrancis.com) i just wanted to bust your balls a little because you attempt to come across with this holier than thou attitude, then turn around use our insane capitalistic society to your advantage. it's pure bull-shit. what I truly think is that you have used 9/11 and are continuing to use this fucking war as a platform launch you and your 'Personal Journals' lp. you are fucking pathetic. you might as well tour w/eminem. get a life, and some ethics while your at it. if you ever make any dough i'd like my ten buck back please."


This is not an isolated incident. In fact, I am seeing some of the same sentiment on the messageboard and it really effects me.


I am sad. That's all. Disappointed in myself as well as many of y'all. I hope to be signing with a big label soon. And I look forward to doing away with as much involvement with people as possible. There will be others who can do the dirty work.

I don't know how this all turned so wrong


Last edited by Sage Francis on Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:52 am; edited 1 time in total
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:32 am
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Andvil



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 343
Location: Morgantown, WV
 Reply with quote  

I can empathize 100% and all I would have to say is stick with it, you dont have that much longer to go, right? (well, 12 or 13 more shows, sorry, i didnt check the front page.) fuck the assholes, they're assholes.
I really dont know what to say though, I'm just sorry that all this negative shit has been happening.
you blew up.
mo money mo problems.

you need to get back to doing shows with 10 people in the audience. less of a chance of there being assholes at the show.

I recommend taking Fladlien's advice ....in fact, thats what I need to do. get some sleep. good night.


Last edited by Andvil on Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:23 am; edited 2 times in total
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:51 am
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Fladlien



Joined: 09 Jul 2002
Posts: 782
Location: Iowa
 Reply with quote  

Sage:

Go to sleep. Wake up, and splash some water on your face. Look at your ugly mug in the mirror. Then smile.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 6:52 am
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TheRutherglenRebel



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Posts: 76
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
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Sorry man, but you have to expect this to a certain degree. Once you've put out a recording that people can buy, you are in the public domain, and rightly or wrongly, the public views you as their property. Mr Record Buyer has spent money on your record and along with that he's bought the right to comment. Modern commercial society has deemed your record a 'product' and Mr Record Buyer is now a Consumer. Horrible I know, but c'est la vie. You either play that game, and take its rewards, or you don't and go back to sending out home-made tapes.

As far as the heckling goes, I've only ever seen you play in Glasgow (Scotland) and we're nice people here! What you described at the SF show sounded unpleasant to say the least, but two things struck me: you complain about being the one to have to deal with it - well what do you want? A Rolling Stones-style Hells Angels presence at the front of the stage, eager to knock fcuk out of any dissenting voices? Throwing objects is never cool, and I'm not defending whoever did it, but really the venue's security should be dealing with the situation. Secondly, what's your general view on being heckled? I don't mean the kind of "you're an asshole!' moron comments which come from humourless people who really dig the sound of their own voices, but surely intelligent conjecture from the audience (I don't know if you get that or not, you'd do well to even understand a Glasgow crowd!) is a sign that people are thinking about what you're saying. That's got to be a good thing, even if you don't agree with what they're saying. Having said all that, I saw Lyrics Born in SF last year and struggled to believe how many assholes could fit into one venue.

Sorry to hear about the road troubles - I'm sure things will be better in the Lear jet once you've signed with Geffen, although I understand they always seem to run out of Meursault and Beluga canapes too early ;->

RR
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:00 am
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ChiefColdHands



Joined: 23 Jul 2002
Posts: 182
Location: Lansing, Michigan
 Reply with quote  

you seem really angry, and yet really sad at the same time (stating the obvious). but there are a lot of people who do have love for you, dont forget that.

do what makes you happy, be well.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:06 am
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Dee



Joined: 19 Jul 2002
Posts: 7872
 Reply with quote  

Perhaps it is time to remove your email address from the public domain.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:06 am
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coma emilio



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 1115
 Reply with quote  

"what I truly think is that you have used 9/11 and are continuing to use this fucking war as a platform launch you and your 'Personal Journals' lp."

hmm, i dunno about everybody else but that stinks of fucking bullshit. i very much doubt sage was thinking about dollars and album promotion when he wrote makeshift patriot. if he really wanted a platform to launch his album there are bigger and better ways to suck dick and shift units. like fucking george bush in the ear whilst reciting "hopeless" would do wonders for album sales no doubt.

its not like sage is the only person rapping/singing about war or 9/11.
its fuckin ridiculous. what does this guy think sage should have done?
stop releasing albums just to prove he's not a "sellout" or make tracks specifically about politics and hand them out for free?
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:08 am
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Andvil



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 343
Location: Morgantown, WV
 Reply with quote  

good points, TheRutherglenRebel...

although I dont think I've ever heard or witnessed any "intelligent conjecture from the audience" haha...does that mean some guy in the audience would be like
"yo, that rhyme woulve worked best with better simile usage in the past tense!"
most or all of the negative comments I've ever heard from crowds is "you suck" and "asshole" etc...
I hope it didnt seem like I was making fun of you, I just thought that would wierd and would like for you to elaborate please
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:12 am
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maxamillion



Joined: 05 Sep 2002
Posts: 1040
Location: The Netherlands
 Reply with quote  

Damnn, I just got over one depression and now you have one......

I don't have any awnsers cause it's your life but if you ask me you shouldn't respond anymore to anybody (except friends ofcourse) and just let people say what they want, just make music that you like and the rest will come.

I can only say that running from your problem is gonna make the depression go away ( worked for me) but I can also tell you that that doesn't mean the problem isn't there anymore.

If you where (I don't know how to say this) more in balance with yourself, like what I'm trying to achieve, you wouldn't be bothered by these people.

I think time will heal all wounds and that you'll be just fine

Remember no one said this would be an easy ride.....
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:14 am
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The_Human



Joined: 30 Jan 2003
Posts: 1693
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Its simple: In less than 20 minutes, at 6AM[or whatever time where your all at] youve already got 8 posts of love, 6AM and people actually care enough to write something?? Must be doing something right Sage. Plus that asshole with the Email said he hadnt ever heard you before the show, well obviously he doesnt understand what your all about. Dont forget how much you help us everyday and how much your music does for your fans.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:20 am
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tie-my-shoe



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 450
Location: university of virginia
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Well this kid is obviously an idiot so why do you care what he says? Just forget about it you can't please everyone.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:23 am
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Reggie



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 5765
Location: Queens, NYC
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Eh, that's too bad. I'll still be checking for N-P and more solo work when it drops. For the record, I never saw Sage as a political emcee with an "agenda." I think a younger fanbase might have brought an idealistic intolerance? I dunno. Anyway, good luck with everything--though I don't think you need it.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:28 am
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maxamillion



Joined: 05 Sep 2002
Posts: 1040
Location: The Netherlands
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By the way I'm also fed up with people saying things like they own the thruth, like sole said: I know nothing but at least I know.....
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:41 am
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TheRutherglenRebel



Joined: 18 Feb 2003
Posts: 76
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
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Andvil wrote:
"yo, that rhyme woulve worked best with better simile usage in the past tense!"


LOL!

Perhaps what I'm talking about is more suited to poetry events rather than hip-hop shows, but I have on (rare) occasion seen debate(!) between an artist on stage and members of the audience. I don't know, perhaps live 'popular' music occupies a strange middle ground somewhere between opera or ballet, where everyone sits in a dignified silence, appreciating what's going on in front of them, and say a football match at the other extreme, where a lot of people are under the impression that acting like a dick is an entry requirement or something.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:54 am
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Royal-T



Joined: 04 Jul 2002
Posts: 657
Location: Canada
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Damn dude, people are pretty damn ignorant to expect the show of a life time from someone who's been on tour doing shows everyday for a month. Fuck them, just ignore those clowns, they obviously expect way too much, you don't owe it to them to please them. Do what you do, ignore the negative critics.
Post Thu Feb 20, 2003 7:56 am
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