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Joined: 06 Sep 2002
Posts: 465
Location: Sydney, Australia
My ramblings......  Reply with quote  

This thread makes me sad.

I don't know what I can say about my life. It seems a non-event compared to you guys's.

I recently moved out of home with four friends. Im 18

I've never had a girlfriend before, even though i've been told that i'm fairly attractive.

I believe that to get a girlfriend, you need to be an asshole, or fucking lucky. The whole, go to a party, talk to some girl, get her phone number, and then buy her dinner for the next 10 friday nights in the hope that she'll have sex with you makes me sick, and i have no part in it. I wanna meet my girlfriend while playing basketball, or swimming or something, that would be cool.

I've been sick for the past 10 or 12 weeks with something like chronic fatigue, which fucking sucks. I havent played basketball in about this long and i feel disgusted with my unhealthy self. Im gonna be a year behind at uni now because of one subject i dropped. It's cool though because im younger than most.

I think i've stopped drinking (Sage has subconciously influenced me), and never really did other drugs.

I look really young, because im skinny as fuck (the converter says 116.6 pounds) and i can't gain weight.

I have a phobia of getting haircuts.

I met Sage at his recent show in Sydney, and bought the CD's he had for sale, he signed them, then i shook his hand and said something really lame about the comment he wrote, and even though he was polite, and said nothing, i knew he wanted to diss the shit out of me.

that was theraputic.
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 1:01 am
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all ways osprey

Joined: 14 Nov 2002
Posts: 59
Location: Atlantic City
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I have chronic sore throat, I try to drink or smoke the pain away, it just doesn't work. I wish I was healthy but I'm glad my health problems are minor.

Slave labor produces sixty-percent of the world's chocolate. I eat chocolate because it tastes good, I am a bad person.

I hate reading but I love good stories.

Choke by Chuck Palahniuk, Black Boy by Richard Wright, and Catch-22 by Joseph Heller are the three best books I've ever read.

I enjoy sports when my teams are winning, but I don't let it dictate my life. I'll never put a sporting event above something enriching.

I get sick of being with the same girl for more than a few weeks.

Eminem, Slug, Bad Religion, Aesop Rock, Outkast, Nas, Common, Jimi Hendrix, The Roots, Nirvana, Talib Kweli, Mos Def, Billy Joel, Linkin Park, Bob Dylan, Marvin Gaye, Miles Davis, Marilyn Manson, Sublime, D'Angelo dominate my cd player in no particular order.

I like ganster movies and anything Spike Lee does.

I'm in college, trying to avoid doing something with the rest of my life.

I'm a slob.

I have very straight teeth considering I never had braces.
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 3:34 pm
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Joined: 15 Sep 2002
Posts: 1362
Location: Right here, fool.
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Moolah - I'd rather have a life that seems like a non-event sometimes. When shit hits the fan you'll be longing for that non-event...

Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 3:42 pm
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Joined: 07 Nov 2002
Posts: 122
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word- i was born with 6 toes on one foot, and no i dont still have it, or else id be rockin that shit platinumized
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 7:14 pm
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Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2804
Location: Kingston, mang
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this thread is awfully sad. Much respect to anyone who overcame hardship.

my life has been pretty tame so far. I am 19. My parents divorced when I was 5 or so. I have moved around alot. I was born in Salt Lake City, moved to Boise, then to San Jose, then to Vancouver, then to Ankara (turkey), back to Vancouver, and now I reside in Kingston Canada. I am currently a 2nd year computer engineering student at Queen's.

My younger sister died of brain cancer when she was 5, I was 12 at the time. She died on December 30, 1994. I wished I had spent more time with her when she was dying in the hospital. It was difficult.

I have the fortune that my parents are relatively well off, my mom remarried and my dad is engaged.

My mother owns her own business, as does my step dad. My dad is a professor of economics as is his fiance.

I am socially awkward, I havent ever really fit in. People tell me that I am intelligent. I doubt it. People tell me that I am handsome. I doubt it.

I have had 5 girlfriends, 2 of them serious. I broke off both relationships because I am afraid of getting too close. People call me stupid for it, I am scared of getting too close.

Music has defined who I am from a very young age. I first was into MC Hammer, Vanilla Ice, I then graduated to Michael Jackson circa 1992. I then started listening to Weezer, Offspring (around grade 5 or so.) I bought the Weezer tape when I was in grade 7. It is still my favorite album. I have always thought of myself as an elitist in terms of music. I dont like listening to smth that gets very popular, for whatever stupid reason that may be. Appaled that Offspring was getting popular; I started listening to heavier rock, then to full on death metal... Sepultura, Morbid Angel, Down, Carcass, Entombed, Bolt Thrower etc... I then got back into hiphop around grade 8.

When I moved to Turkey, there were very few kids who listened to hip hop, it was also rather difficult to find stores that carried hip hop as well. As such, I started listening to Drum and Bass, Big Beat, Downtempo, Dub, Deep House etc.

I then moved back to Vancouver in grade 11 and got back into hip hop right off the bat...

I have never really "fit in." I am half turkish, half persian. People in Turkey dont think I am Turkish. People in Iran dont think I am Iranian. I am most certainly not caucasian. It feels as though I am a foreigner in my own country.

Thank you for letting me share this with you.
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 7:44 pm
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Joined: 07 Nov 2002
Posts: 122
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damn i wanna move to vancouver bad, its the dopest city ive been to. all nice and clean with mountains and ocean. i just dont know about the rain though, is it all that bad?
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 7:46 pm
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Joined: 30 Sep 2002
Posts: 2804
Location: Kingston, mang
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no, it isnt that bad at all
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 8:08 pm
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Joined: 07 Nov 2002
Posts: 122
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hows the rent? like americanized, cuz i know canadian money aint worth shit hehehe
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 8:25 pm
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Joined: 31 Oct 2002
Posts: 59
Location: providence, ri. website:
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i'm 19 and really my life has been pretty normal.
i have ADD and i am lactose intolerant.
i've had this reoccurring dream since i was 8. i have it about twice a year. everything is in black and white, and the only sound is my voice. i am running through the streets of my neighborhood in broad daylight but no one is out. i'm young, maybe 6 in my little "church dress". i can't find my way home. i run to the end of every street trying and trying to get home. eventually i sit down in the middle of the street and just cry, and cry. until i wake up.
i have been vegetarian for 3 years.
i used to be what most people would call a "hardcore kid" piercings, tattoos and all.
i've mellowed out. realized that too much is based on your appearance. i don't like being classifiable
i'm in a relationship of 2 years. we still don't say "i love you". it really bothers me.
my first hip-hop cd was pauls boutique.
Post Sun Nov 17, 2002 11:40 pm
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Joined: 02 Nov 2002
Posts: 427
Location: VA
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im nineteen years old. grew up in faquier county, va. until 5th grade, then moved to clarke county, va. and more or less learned all of lifes lessons there. i am currently enrolled in college in fredericksburg, and miss home a lot. had a good time in high school, met a lot of cool ass people, and miss those peeps much. my pops got cancer when i was in 11th grade, and luckily he has overcome it. my mom has had MS since as long as i can remember, and i got mad props for her doin what she does. she took care of me and all, plus got up for work at 2 oclock am and didnt get home till 6 pm monday through friday, and never complained. thats where i get my work ethic, i guess.

i flipped a golf cart and broke my arm at work the summer before my senior year. looking back, i realize just how funny that was. had to get my boys to lift the cart off of my arm, and it ruined my round, but they kept on playin. i once saw caito kailen (the guy from the oj trial) getting escorted out of camden yards by three police officers, and that was random as hell. ive had horrible luck with the ladies, but i try not to let it bother me. there are more important things in life than dating. ive seen many a good homey taken down by a woman who doesnt let him out of the house. ive been listenin to hip hop on and off since about 6 grade. after eighth grade, i totally ditched it and listened to rock. then come 11th grade, and ever since, hip hop has been my shit. well thats about all. i have just began to realize how much i love life and everything around me, the good and the bad. peace!
Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 12:05 am
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Joined: 03 Jul 2002
Posts: 460
Location: Los Angeles
i like this thread.  Reply with quote  

you guys are fun. and my life isnt as interesting.

im 18.

i almost died when i was born, i ate poop. no lie.

when i was five and my nanny was walking me to school, she told me not to cross the street by myself cuz the cars might hit me. so i ran in the middle of the street, got down on my knees, spread my arms out, and yelled "que me maten! que me maten!" which in spanish means "kill me! kill me!"

i smoked a cigarette in the 5th grade and thought i was "cool"

all 4'8" (in the 7th grade) of me beat up the school bully in the 8th grade, and everyone was scared of me after that, even though everyone was bigger than me.

ive gone to private, catholic school all my life. and will be going to a private catholic university. jesus rocks my socks.

ive had one serious boyfriend whom im still friends with.

i smoke (bud) and drink occasionally.

im moving to the bay area in less than a year.

i talk to much.

some people think im filipino, but im not. im REALLY attracted to filipinos.

i wanna live in mexico.

my favorite emcee is not slug. no lie.
Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 12:36 am
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Joined: 05 Jul 2002
Posts: 3208
Location: San Diego,CA
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I lost my job last month.

I'm addicted to the internet.

I do nothing all day but sometimes I watch Clifford the big red dog in spanish.

I want to move to NYC but with this economy I don't think it will happen.

I hate Canadians.

I love God and music.

Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 1:06 am
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous

Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21790
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I read this whole thread.

I love you all.

When my Grandmother read the lyrics to Inherited Scars she cried and said, "He may not have been a great father...but he was my SON, Paul."

"The point of the song is not to bad talk your son, Grandma. I love him. This song is about things that my sister and I had to go through. It deals with a truth that many people experience...and expressing it helps people deal with that truth."

She said, "Just because it's true doesn't mean you have to say it."

I agree. But sometimes you do. Thank you all for sharing.
Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 1:43 am
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all ways osprey

Joined: 14 Nov 2002
Posts: 59
Location: Atlantic City
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Aww, Sage's a big sweetheart afterall.
Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 1:55 am
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Joined: 30 Oct 2002
Posts: 766
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wow. i just read ALL of those stories. its amazing what goes into making a person, and i doubt anyone will read this but i might as well add.

I never almost died. My dad is an "alcoholic" once i had wine in my bottle.
i went to 5 or 6 gradeschools. i went to 2 highschools. i never moved more than 100 miles.

when i was younger my dads girlfriend smoked crack. when we were camping. I didnt know until i turned 19. Then i realized glass pipes for weed dont whistle. She was a bitch.

I am not sure if antyhing that has happened to me is uninteresting.

I had my first sexual encounter when i was 16. My friends girlfriend gave me head in his moms bedroom. My soul paid for this fact, when i lost all my friends respect. It later paid for it when i almost turned 19 and met the first girl i ever thought i loved. I then got diagnosed with HPV. If you look around sources say you cant get HPV from oral sex, they are wrong. I dated my only girlfriend for 1 year. She would cry when we had sex. She then started fucking other guys when she got to college. It upset me that she lied to me about it. I wont talk to her anymore. I havent been with anyone since her, 15 months ago. I have convinced myself that no one will ever "love" me in that way.

I dont want girls to want me. I love them tho, and want a relashonship. i dislike sex. My mom might be going crazy, mabey thats why. She talks to her self sometimes, in different voices.

I have never had any problems concerning money in any way.
I analyze too much.

I consider mylife to be uneventfull as in nothing good or bad has really happened to me.

I have spent 20 years learning that i am good at most everything i try, and i dont care because i cant develop any of my skills.

My latest stepdad went crazy on alcohol. he was number 5 or 6 or 4. i dont know and dont really care anymore.
I dont care about anything, well not like most people care about things. I dont value family at all. I am the last person to cary on my last name out of 32 cousins or something. i cant even name all my aunts.

I am good at math which worries me, along with the fact that my mother is crazy i think i may too go crazy some day. I fear alzheimers, and i cant even spell it because my grandpa had it.

i freestyled on a mic for the first time last night. It was kinda whack, and kinda short. but it was a first and it felt good. It was at a party. i didnt get any props i didnt deserve and i am whack, but im gonna do it again, and get better at it. that was probably the best thing to happen to me in the year of 2002. I got a motorcycle in 2001, and i ride it. I am confident i wont die on it, but sometimes i wish i would.

I hate sympathy, but i love attention.
sorry if this was too personal, or to long.
Post Mon Nov 18, 2002 2:59 am
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