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an email I recieved from a disgruntled 17 yr old. Life stuff
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mr self distrukt



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 1249
Location: a crew called self
depression: life's lil enema  Reply with quote  

Sage Francis wrote:

we're all set to self-destruct. build yourself up while you can.


agreed.
but i do think it's a necessary step in understanding what goes on within and around you...
Post Wed Oct 09, 2002 10:53 pm
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mc poohammer



Joined: 23 Jul 2002
Posts: 223
Location: teen mecca
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i was being sarcastic. but i guess you cant tell that, due to the fact that its just words on a screen.

dont let the man(sage) keep you down.
Post Wed Oct 09, 2002 11:21 pm
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dorkasaurus



Joined: 09 Jul 2002
Posts: 537
Location: trench b
 Reply with quote  

geoff

i know i'm going to get a lot of hate posts as a result, but fuck it.

to quote michael jackson...."you are not alone, i am here with you, though we're far a part, you're always in my heart...." (maybe not always in my heart, but i do feel for you)

you can even change it match your obsession with sage.

ahem... here goes...you are not alone, sage is there with you, though you're far a part, you're always in his heart...

feel free to sing the rest of the song to yourself.
Post Wed Oct 09, 2002 11:39 pm
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califunky



Joined: 06 Jul 2002
Posts: 225
Location: Japan
goddamn  Reply with quote  

that is why everyone on this board has dorkasaurus written with big letters and hearts on their spiral binder, she just seems to know how to make shit better

and i am not being sarcastic

c
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:31 am
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21532
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Dorkasaurus

shush
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:33 am
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T-Wrex
p00ny tang


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 6381
Location: Detroit, Michigan
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i'd rather sing "man in the mirror"..

but, yeah, geoff, you'll grow out of it..

being a teenager sucks, but that only lasts six years..

once you're in your twenties, you'll realize how much you miss being a teen because you're stuck in a dead end job, you don't live with your parents anymore and can't take a vacataion because you need that paycheck for rent, car insurance and groceries..

and you'll get over your obsession with sage.. you'll start relating with older artists.. "damn, BB King is 89 years old and still has the blues.. What if I never find happiness either?!"..

civilized life sucks, but there's not much of an alternative..

escaping to Peru, living off the land, catching butterflies in the mountains all day and fingerpainting with nature's dyes..
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 1:37 am
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argot



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 958
Location: rhode island
yeah  Reply with quote  

I actually had a rather intense high school nauseatingly nostalgic moment about an hour ago.

I was looking through an old notebook and found this black and white picture my friend took. It was of me and a few friends playing hackey sack with our principle in his wingtips and suit.

A rush of various feelings came over me and i actually felt nauseated by all of the different elements in it. So much to say... too little who would listen/care.
I wish it wasn't 5 in the morning and i wish didn't have to get up in 4 hours and i wish my roommate wasn't snoring... but Norm MacDonald's Dirty Work makes me smile.



jared knows what I am talking about with the nostalgia... he came back to URI for two days!!!!!!
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 2:26 am
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Shylax



Joined: 12 Aug 2002
Posts: 153
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My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:11 am
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Tashya Salad



Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 101
Location: Cleveland
Re: I am in the middle of an internet cafe laughing loudly  Reply with quote  

Sage Francis wrote:


ain't it the truth. That's the problem with love. I should say...that's ONE of the problems with "love." The more honest we are with ourselves the more we have to consider how little we really have to offer people we love. Other than ourselves. And when we don't think much of ourselves, that's not offering a whole lot, is it now?


I just broke up with the man who might be my own true love because I'm not capable of being in a healthy relationship right now. Inner demons are a bitch.

Anyways, Geoff... if you're on AIM contact: random bullcrap.

You need to talk to someone. I know how serious teenage depression can be.
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 7:35 am
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praton3030



Joined: 07 Aug 2002
Posts: 235
Location: frederick, Md
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Geoff, I am 15, but I have been very badly deppressed before. You just gotta learn to cope with it, right now, i am using a stratagy that states for me to take a bit of other peoples personality, add it to mine, and then a little later mold into my own personality once things seem smoothed out, it works like a charm, and as far as getting a girlfriend is concerned, just don't do any big moves on a girl untill you know they actually like you. Well, I hope i am more than half right here, or at least half right. You judge for yourself Geoff, put yourself before other's.
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 8:19 am
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barlow



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 1100
Location: Leeds, UK
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Geoff,

I know what you are talking about, and I know this doesnt help you now, but I do believe in the "there is somebody for everybody" thing.
Things will change, and when they do, what you are feeling now will seem so long ago.

I used to listen to "How soon is now" by the Smiths, over and over, especially the lines

There's a club that you'd like to go to, you could meet somebody who really loves you.
So you go and you stand on your own,
and you leave on your own,
and you go home, and you cry and you want to die.


I know what you mean about thinking "How would $pop_hero deal with this?"

The only thing I can say is that things will improve, and when they do it will be hard to even remember just how bad it is now.

I have been with my girlfriend for 9 years now, and it takes posts like yours to remind me that life was ever like that, it seems so long ago, and almost as if it was someone else there, not me.

Hope any of this helps,

Craig

PS: I hope I dont get a telling for saying this, but if you want a girlfriend, try NOT doing what Sage would do. You will have a far better chance, from what I've seen :)
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 9:31 am
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Tashya Salad



Joined: 23 Sep 2002
Posts: 101
Location: Cleveland
 Reply with quote  

Having a girlfriend isn't going to make things any better.
Chances are, it will only make things worse.
You're better off figuring things out and making YOURSELF happy instead of relying on someone else to do it for you. Dependency can be awful and cause incredible messes.

But I know how you feel. Its a terrible waste when you have so much love in your heart and no one to share it with.
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 9:37 am
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dense



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 911
Location: england
 Reply with quote  

yo barlow, word.... i used to play those exact smiths lines over and over, feeling like it was about me!......

but yeah, shit changes all the time..... some of the time i feel exactly the same and the despair can really fuckin' slow things down.... even doing shit that i like doesn't seem right and kinda pointless......

but a lot of the time, i just try and occupy myself with shit that makes me happy like music or films or reading a good book.... it's basically a way of pushing the depression to one side and getting on with something more positive.... i mean, i'm so used to being on my own now, that of all the time that i wish i wasn't constantly on my own and with a girlfriend, i probably know deep down that i'm actually pretty fuckin' happy with myself.... i know that proper friends are far and few between and you'll probably only have a chosen few that are 100% trustworthy and decent.... most are just fakes and shittalkers when it comes down to it but you've got to use them like they use you.... i've got very few genuine friends but the ones that are, are so fuckin' dope and it doesn't matter that the rest aren't......

anyway, enough of my brainless mumbling........
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 12:39 pm
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dorkasaurus



Joined: 09 Jul 2002
Posts: 537
Location: trench b
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mother i can feel the soil falling over my head....

i know it's over, still i cling, i don't know where else i can go........

if you're so funny, then why are on your own tonight?

and if you're so clever, then why are you on your own tonight?

if yore so very entertaining, then why are you on your own tonight?

if you're you very good looking, why do sleep alone tonight?...i know.

'cause tonight is just like any other night,
that's why you're on your own tonight.
with you triumphs and your charms all there in eachothers arms....

love is natural and real, but not for you my love, not tonight my love
love is natural and real, but not for such as you and i, my love


the smiths kick ass. they express lonliness and despair so well. i prefer i know it's over to how soon is now.

though listening to them makes me happy rather than depressed.
Post Thu Oct 10, 2002 4:35 pm
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geoffwalker



Joined: 19 Jul 2002
Posts: 131
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i appreciate the concern...but it scares me a little bit. y'all make me sound terminal. really though, i do appreciate the kind words. most of the time i can handle it, sometimes the burden just becomes all too tangible though...haha nevermind.
Post Fri Oct 11, 2002 12:09 am
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