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A poem by Craig Nelson. "The Death Star." loca
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21546
A poem by Craig Nelson. "The Death Star." loca  Reply with quote  

The Death Star

I find a pile of short stories I wrote when I was twelve and younger,
some written in crayon.
I usually stay away from my older work,
but today I read through them.
And come upon a similar thread.
I was a very adventurous creater of plots,
only I would write them before I knew how to resolve them.

Which led to the development of what I call:
Taoist Plot Resolution.

I was really into Sci-Fi.
In one story, Super Astronaut Craig,
took a spaceship to Uranus
(didn't know that joke yet)
where there were aliens.
Both the aliens and Super Astronaut Craig
had guns,
but the aliens couldn't speak English
so they couldn't figure out
whether to be friends or not,
so I wrote
'Super Astronaut Craig couldn't understand the aliens.
He decided to see if the aliens could learn English really fast.
They did.
Then they had a discussion.'

I was halfway through another story
which made use of a death star,
when I realized there was a famous movie
which made use of a death star, too.
I fixed this in one sentence:
And so the death star-
which was unlike any other death star-
moved towards the planet.

In a different story, Space Ranger Greg
finds himself in a predicament.
He's caught by the aliens,
who put him in a tank of water with no surface,
where all the walls have spikes on them,
and are closing in,
and there are sharks in the tanks,
and the aliens are all pointing guns at him
in case he tries anything funny.

I wrote,
'Space Ranger Greg looked around..
didn't know what to do.
Then, just as everything was about to kill him,
Space Ranger Greg escaped the trap
in a way so incredible you wouldn't believe it!'

I'm reading the dusty yellowed papers,
and the reason I'm here in the first place
is because I'm not having a great day.
I decide to model my life using
Taoist Plot Resolution.

I don't have a job.
So I get a job as a CEO for General Electric.

My girlfriend is vegan and I'm not,
but we had a discussion and now its okay.

I'm locked out of my car,
but I have one of those British cars,
so I open it.

My computer crashes-
I through it into my neighbors pool four stories down,
now it's fine.

I find myself without a girlfriend,
so I go to a poetry reading,
read a love poem
and get one.

Collection agencies are at my door
wanting the money for my student loans.
I escape them in a way you wouldn't believe.

I want to be a writer
but can't seem to get it together.
I'm about to be sued by Visa,
and I could really use my own tropical island.
So I write the great American poem,
and win the Bill Gates billion dollar poetry contest.
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 5:24 pm
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pav



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 805
Location: from the heart of queens
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"Then, just as everything was about to kill him,
Space Ranger Greg escaped the trap
in a way so incredible you wouldn't believe it"

hha

who is this craig nelson

i really liked this..

i love how he references his old kid stories.. i've read my own ones from 2nd/3rd grade.. they make aboslutely no sense..


and yesterday i nearly went berserk thinking about college and the applic process.. i could use a good taoist plan like that..
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 5:38 pm
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pav



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 805
Location: from the heart of queens
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just found these sites..

http://www.chezdesiree.com/openmike/craignelson/
http://www.spokenword.to/oasis/nelson_c.html
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 5:43 pm
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SneepSnopDotCom
COCKRING WRAITH


Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 3087
Location: Wisconsin
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that was sweet... he reminds me of me in 5 years.
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 10:05 pm
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icarus502
kung-pwn master


Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 11288
Location: ann arbor
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you mean craig t. nelson? dude that played Coach?
damn... who knew?
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 10:33 pm
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Andvil



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 343
Location: Morgantown, WV
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curse you icarus! you took the words right outta my mouth
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 11:08 pm
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21546
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He's a friend of mine from the RI/MA area. He sent me this poem and asked me to give a blurp for his new book.

what I will say is "Craig's poem made people on my messageboard happy"

haha. I like Craig. Ever since I involved myself in the RI poetry scene, his name always comes up as one of the top writers.
Post Thu Sep 19, 2002 11:14 pm
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Prontoid



Joined: 07 Aug 2002
Posts: 1605
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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"I'm locked out of my car,
but I have one of those British cars,
so I open it. "

ahah thats dope!....my old car was one of those....
Post Fri Sep 20, 2002 1:29 am
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td3



Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 2764
Location: Chicopee & Springfield, MA
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"Both the aliens and Super Astronaut Craig
had guns,
but the aliens couldn't speak English
so they couldn't figure out
whether to be friends or not....

...'Super Astronaut Craig couldn't understand the aliens.
He decided to see if the aliens could learn English really fast.
They did.
Then they had a discussion.' "

same thing can be applied to whats going on today
see, even kids under 10 could resolve some of the worlds problems...

but kids under 10 dont know what they are talking about, right????

td3
Post Fri Sep 20, 2002 7:57 am
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Jaryd



Joined: 14 Jul 2002
Posts: 222
craig nelson!! coach?!?! the tao of luther?!  Reply with quote  

taoist plot resolution!
that is such a bitch for me...
ironic
impossible

i read a chapter of the Tao Te Ching each morning and go through the day with it fresh in my mind. then i cycle back through and do the same, and the result is always different. its weird how you come across so many things that are so fitting (or seem to be in some subjective manner). and no, in no way whatsoever do i call myself a taoist, buddhist, hindu, etc. anyhow... this was this morning's:

Chapter Eight

The sage's way,
Tao
is the way of water.
There must be water for life to be,
and it can flow wherever.

And water, being true to being water
is true
to Tao.

Those on the Way of Tao, like water
need to accept where they find themselves;
and that may often be where water goes
to the lowest places, and that is right.

Like a lake
the heart must be calm and quiet
having great depth beneath it.

The sage rules with compassion,
and his word needs to be trusted.

The sage needs to know like water
how to flow around the blocks
and how to find the way through without violence.

Like water, the sage should wait
for the moment to ripen and be right:

water, you know, never fights

it flows around

without harm.


"I decide to model my life using
Taoist Plot Resolution"
that is the funniest thing by far
using?
Post Sun Sep 22, 2002 2:28 am
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Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21546
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water fights
Post Sun Sep 22, 2002 2:44 am
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Jaryd



Joined: 14 Jul 2002
Posts: 222
lao tzu had a super soaker 1540?  Reply with quote  

a person is kinda forced to take something literally when the word "never" is used
seems a little too concrete or rock-like
Post Sun Sep 22, 2002 2:54 am
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