Profile
Search
Register
Log in
online review of Hope, read it here first.....
View previous topic | View next topic >

Post new topic Reply to topic
Strange Famous Forum > Press/Interviews/reviews

Author Message
goldenmean



Joined: 17 Mar 2003
Posts: 310
online review of Hope, read it here first.....  Reply with quote  

"A Seminal Release"

Jordan Michael-Thompson was a beautiful girl with an eye for fashion and huge tits that you could grab and squeeze but only if she allowed it. She had an affinity for indie hip-hop music and one day she sashayed hornily into her neighborhood recorded-music store because she was in the mood to buy a CD of east coast sample based music. As she walked in she noticed there was a really hot security guard. He had a shaved head and was well over the arena of six feet tall; his eyes were blue and his crotch bulged in a manner that suggested he had a giant dick. She got so much more horny at that point!
Jordan winked at security guard.
"Hello" His hot smile said, reminding her of just what his mouth might be capable of. She got wetter vaginally.
"Can I help you?" He added hungrily, his eyes glued to what he imagined to be perfectionate breasts hidden underneath her six hundred dollar cashmere sweater. Had he thought about the treasures that lay inside of her downstairs box, he was sure his weiner might explode inside of his khaki pants. He tried not to think about that because he was on the job. Sensually, she took his hand.
"I think you should go on coffee break right now. I need to find a good hip-hop album." She rubbed her fat ones against his uniform as she told him the plan. He was so sexcited.
"My boss will kill me. I don't even know your name!"
"The only thing you need to know is I don't have AIDS." She said, as she unzipped his pants and fondled his hairy, peach colored ballsack with her smooth, effeminate hands.
She leaned in and began darting her healthy pink tongue in and out of his right ear, and his dong began to well up with the juice of man as she did this. He undid her designer belt and slid his worker-hands down her pants and into the folds of her thong underwear, careful to note that her sex was as shaved as the top of his head was. He began to finger wantonly.
Her cries rose in volume and she pulled his now hard stick out of the sweaty confines of his pants and underwear. She was happy to note it was the size of a CD tower. And just as fucking hard!!!!
He threw her on the floor and began to eat of her. The slobbering wetness within her cooch tumbled into the gaping and welcoming hole of his mouth as he used his powerful tongue to deliver the news. The news was that he was giving her a fantastic orgasm. He turned her on her side and licked her ass afterwards. The brownest hole tasted fine to him that day because Jordan was beautiful. She also had something to say.
"Can you recommend any hip-hop music to me? Is Aceyalone good?"
"The dude from freestyle fellowship?" he replied, positioning his ballmeat within grasp of her pouting lips, " I have the perfect album for you." He got up and his boner looked hot to her as he walked and she licked it and he picked up Sage Francis' album Hope from the new releases shelf, as prejaculate oozed from his swollen urethra. He shoved the CD in her attentive clam and it caused her mound to quiver sensually.
"Sage Francis recorded this with Joey Beats. Its on Epitaph. I want you to have it."
Jordan stumbled out of the building with a CD inside her pussy. It felt like a classic.

Sage Francis' Hope is available October 7th, 2003 on Epitaph.
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:48 pm
 View user's profile Send private message
FilthyRich
Guest




 Reply with quote  

did it mention the fact that it's fucking shit?
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:51 pm
 
siahxtellah



Joined: 02 Jun 2003
Posts: 247
Location: Best Coast
 Reply with quote  

how frustrating must that be for joey..."sage francis' album...on epitaph"


WRONG WRONG WRONG.


although it did give me an erection.
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 6:56 pm
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
FilthyRich
Guest




 Reply with quote  

i bet
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:29 pm
 
Sarcastro



Joined: 27 Sep 2002
Posts: 3281
 Reply with quote  

siahxtellah wrote:
how frustrating must that be for joey..."sage francis' album...on epitaph"


WRONG WRONG WRONG.


although it did give me an erection.


don't worry, once they split up and Sage tries to do his own thing people will recognize that he's nothing but a Jeru to the new Primo of this era.

and that was the greatest review ever. Words have never before satisfied me the way those did.
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:37 pm
 View user's profile Send private message
FilthyRich
Guest




 Reply with quote  

his beats are wank too
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 7:47 pm
 
futuristxen



Joined: 01 Jul 2002
Posts: 19356
Location: Tighten Your Bible Belt
 Reply with quote  

siahxtellah wrote:
how frustrating must that be for joey..."sage francis' album...on epitaph"


WRONG WRONG WRONG.


although it did give me an erection.


yeah seriously. What the fuck? If you're going to take all of that time to write that, why not do it right? It's not a sage francis record. It's the motherfuckin non-prophets. This is the Non-Prophets forum.

From the snippets mix I heard, and reverse discourse, in about a month some of you all are going to feel real embarrassed when you realize how dope joey's beats are.

And oh yeah, last but not least, it not on Epitaph.

nice try though.
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 8:04 pm
 View user's profile Send private message AIM Address MSN Messenger
kese



Joined: 16 Mar 2003
Posts: 5454
 Reply with quote  

i once heard saul williams reffered to a vagina orgasm... that was a good angle on a review.... dirrrrrrtay dir dir dir dirrtyyy
Post Fri Sep 05, 2003 9:01 pm
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website AIM Address
goldenmean



Joined: 17 Mar 2003
Posts: 310
thats the last time my erotic pen graces these pages  Reply with quote  

i cant believe after writing something like that all you guys can do is complain "its not sage francis, its non-prophets". you nerds. yall should be turned on. that ish was HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 10:26 am
 View user's profile Send private message
Jesse



Joined: 02 Jul 2002
Posts: 6166
Location: privileged homeless
 Reply with quote  

(a) it's on lex

(b) how you gonna throw a chick on the floor to eat her? have you ever even had sex or what?
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 11:03 am
 View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail Visit poster's website
the Wiper



Joined: 28 Jan 2003
Posts: 523
Location: Kent State University
 Reply with quote  

something about the fact that her tongue was pink turned me on...
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 11:22 am
 View user's profile Send private message
Awww mn



Joined: 03 Jul 2002
Posts: 2511
Location: barbary coast
Re: online review of Hope, read it here first.....  Reply with quote  

goldenmean wrote:
She rubbed her fat ones against his uniform as she told him the plan. He was so sexcited.
is it possible to simultaneously find this extremely hilarious and be sexcited for HOPE at the same time? i may not agree with the motivation but i do appreciate the execution and the creativity.

heh. cd tower.
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 11:24 am
 View user's profile Send private message
Sage Francis
Self Fighteous


Joined: 30 Jun 2002
Posts: 21529
 Reply with quote  

boooooooooo
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 11:58 am
 View user's profile Send private message
the mean
Certified O.G.


Joined: 31 Jul 2003
Posts: 6495
Location: philly/sacto/kauai/ohio
 Reply with quote  

You know, i think the key to good erotica is to find good synonyms for penis and vagina. As soon as i read the word "weiner" i skipped the rest.
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 2:48 pm
 View user's profile Send private message
FilthyRich
Guest




 Reply with quote  

shut it sage
Post Sat Sep 06, 2003 4:07 pm
 

Post new topic Reply to topic
Jump to:  
Goto page 1, 2  Next
All times are GMT - 6 Hours.
The time now is Mon Jul 28, 2014 12:32 pm
  Display posts from previous:      


Powered by phpBB: © 2001 phpBB Group
Template created by The Fathom
Based on template of Nick Mahon