This drab pamphlet that they offer at casinos for people who have overextended themselves should also be offered at shopping malls. Heck, why stop there? Put them in schools, churches, banks, etc. There should be an old, crotchety man in a black hooded robe handing these out at the entrance and exit of all hospitals. I’ve been told that this pamphlet looks particularly fitting in my hand. Well, let me tell you something…I’m a survivor. I survived the big fun.
Always remember, never forget: “Slow and steady wins the race, fuckface.”